Wishful Thinking
by stephfarrow94
Summary: Shunsui, a recovering alcoholic and drug user, takes in Jushiro, a drug-addicted prostitute off the streets. But with Jushiro not understanding kindess or the fact that not everyone wants him for his body will make things very difficult for Shunsui. Yaoi, Shunsui/Ukitake, drug use, abuse.
1. Chapter 1

There was nothing Kyōraku Shunsui hated more than Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. They bored him to death and he felt as if they did nothing for him. What was so wrong with alcohol that his late girlfriend had begged him to give up just days before she passed away?

It wasn't that Shunsui _wanted _to quit drinking – oh, he'd rather die than willingly stop – but he wanted to honour his girlfriend's last wishes, even if they weren't something he agreed with.

The walks home at night were the worst. His small apartment was located within the city, and in order to get there from his meetings, he had to pass many liquor shops. He wanted so badly to step in through those doors every time he passed them, but he knew his beloved girlfriend would be upset to know that he had fallen back after having made a huge effort.

There wasn't much that made Shunsui feel as if this walk home would be different from any other – he still took the same route, he greeted the usual people on their way home from work, and he still had the same thoughts as he did nearly every other time. In fact, the only reason this time was any different was because when he walked past one of the alleyways that cut straight through the main streets, he heard a small whimper.

Shunsui stopped, worried that there might have been someone hurt in the alleyway. He stayed silent, waiting for the noise to happen again. When it did, Shunsui bit his lip as memories of his girlfriend's passing flashed through his mind.

Silently, the brunet stepped forward into the alley. He was careful, aware of the fact that something bad could be happening in here, but there was no way he could chance leaving someone in need of help behind.

When the whimpers became louder and more urgent, Shunsui could tell that they were cries of pain. He made his way over to where the alleyway split off into a crossroads and peeked around the corner. His eyes widened and he covered his mouth to stifle a gasp at the scene before him.

There was a white-haired male on the ground with a taller and clearly stronger male above him. While the smaller man was naked, the other one's pants were pooled around his knees as he thrust harshly into the man before him. The weaker man's back was on the ground as a strong arm was curled around his waist, supporting his lower body in order for the man's thrusts to become as deep as possible. Blood dripped from the abused opening and down onto the gravel beneath them, letting Shunsui know that this definitely would not be a nice thing to endure.

The red bricks of the alleyway wall were splashed with liquid, and the Kyōraku hoped with all his being that it was not blood. He could see a large gash running down the white-haired man's arm and the blood that raced down the pale skin.

"Little bitch…"

Shunsui's heart stopped at the man's cruel voice. He flinched silently as a hand whacked the white-haired man's face hard enough to force it to the side. He wanted to stop this, but what _could _he do…?

"Enjoy it… Scream for me… Say my name… Act like the whore you are…!"

Shunsui saw the tears seeping past closed eyelids on the white-haired man's face, but he didn't know what he could do to help; prostitutes were common around these areas and who was he to step in and put an end to someone's way of living?

The brunet took a closer look at the bleeding man. He was deathly pale and very, _very _skinny. Ribs poked out every which way and his stomach was caved in. His hips jutted out and his limbs had the appearance of skin wrapped tightly around bone. Was he not eating properly? Or was there something more to his appearance?

But what struck Shunsui the most was when the man opened his eyes, all he could see was a stunning green displaying nothing but fear, pain and a hint of anger.

Reluctantly, Shunsui turned on his heel and fled from the alleyway and all the way back home. He entered his bedroom, trying to push the smaller man's face out of his mind, but it was impossible; there was something about that man...

"Nanao-chan…" Shunsui whispered to himself as he glanced at the side of the bed that was once his girlfriend's. "…Nanao-chan, what would you have done if it were you who found them…?"

Shunsui really didn't expect an answer, but the silence still hurt just as much as it did every time. He missed his girlfriend more than anything and the loneliness was unbearable. The people who were close to him had told him he had changed after his girlfriend's death, but he didn't really believe them; the only thing about him that had changed was that he had stopped using drugs and was trying to quit the alcohol because he knew it was ultimately what the girl wanted.

With thoughts of his girlfriend and that white-haired man in his head all night, Shunsui slept fitfully, worse than usual. Something about that man was pulling at him, and he didn't know why.

**A/N The actual idea for this story's title came from my good friend Ai Chiyo. When I asked her why she thought of it, I thought her reasoning was amazing. This was her reasoning.**

**[4:22:19 PM] Ai Chiyo: I imagine that Shunsui will constantly be thinking of Nanao regardless of Ukitake~ He'll be asking her for advice and strength, but expecting anything in returrn is just Wishful Thinking. As for Ukitake's point of view anyone wanting him, being nice to him, being excepted, loved, cherished, it's all Wishful Thinking, but in the end if you wish for it hard enough it can come true~ c:**


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Shunsui saw the white-haired man, a week had passed by. He had been walking through town, having finished a job interview and planning on getting lunch before he returned home.

"What do you mean you can't pay me – again?"

Shunsui stopped as he heard a very aggressive tone to his side. He turned and saw the same white-haired man talking to someone Shunsui knew was a drug-dealer – when he was still doing it, he had gone to a lot of different buyers in order to find the best drugs.

"I-I'm sorry…" that same frail-looking man that Shunsui had been thinking about lately sounded terrified as he replied. "…I can pay you back in sexual favours until I get the money…"

Shunsui pulled his phone out of his pocket and pretended to text as he listened in on the conversation. There was no doubt in his mind that the male was a prostitute, and he didn't blame the other for wanting drugs – he'd want them too if he had to sell his body in order to survive.

The brunet was sickened to hear that as long as the pale man allowed the other to do whatever he wanted to him, the white-haired male would get drugs. It was horrible knowing that someone was being used in such a cruel manner.

"T-thank you…" The man mumbled as his dealer walked away.

Shunsui couldn't stand by and watch this. It was bad enough that he had left the poor thing alone that other night, but now… He had to do _something…! _

_Nanao-chan… _Shunsui thought to himself as he approached the trembling man. _Nanao-chan, I have to help him… I can't leave him like this…_

"Hi~" Shunsui offered a smile to the pale man as he stopped before him. He tried not to frown when the other male flinched and stepped away as if Shunsui was going to hit him.

"Seventy for oral, one-fifty for whatever you want, or two-hundred for the night…" the man mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Shunsui's heart broke at these words, but what got him the most was the way his prices seemed lower than he would have expected from a prostitute. Did he really think so low of himself…?

"Actually, I wasn't interested in any of that," Shunsui explained, trying to come up with an excuse for talking to him. "I was actually wondering… if you wanted to have lunch with me."

The male shook his head, a look of pain flashing across his face before it was hidden away once again under an emotionless mask.

"Oh, come on…" Shunsui offered one of his cheeriest smiles. "I-I was going to have lunch with my… friend, but they had to bail."

The white-haired man's eyes flashed with distrust at these words. "Why me…? Surely you have other friends…?"

Shunsui shrugged. "Oh, I have lots of friends, but none of them need a good meal like you appear to need. Please? I'll pay."

"Leave me alone…" The man tried to walk away, but Shunsui wasn't going to give up that easy. Something about this man really tugged at his heart; he couldn't let him go.

"I sincerely apologise if what I said offended you in any way," Shunsui said, knowing better than to reach out and touch the other – it wouldn't do to frighten him away when the smaller male was clearly afraid of touch. "It's just that I don't like spending my lunches alone and everyone else is busy."

"I don't understand…" Tears welled up in the skinny man's eyes. "Why can't you leave me alone? If you don't want me for sex, what _do _you want me for?!"

"Someone to talk to?" Shunsui shrugged again. "Someone to get to know? I don't know – maybe I've seen you around here before working the corners and I don't like it. I think you deserve better."

"You don't know me!" The seemingly frail man growled. "You don't know anything!"

"I know that man you were just talking to." Shunsui was sick of walking on eggshells; he was good at getting his own way, and he was going to get what he wanted now. "I know you offered your body for drugs. I assume you can't afford to buy them?"

The male reached up and ripped at his long, dirty strands. A strangled sob escaped his lips.

"If it makes you feel better, I used to buy drugs from him, too." Shunsui's voice was gentle now. He lifted his sleeve and showed the other his arms. There were undeniable marks from syringes on his arms, mixed with scars that looked as if they had been self-inflicted wounds once upon a time. "I don't do drugs anymore, but I guess I can understand why you do."

"I don't understand…!" The male sobbed again. "I don't understand…! W-why are you talking to me if you don't want sex…?!"

"I thought we already covered this." Shunsui rolled his sleeve back down. "My name is Kyōraku Shunsui. What is yours?"

The male flinched, unable to believe the words he had just heard. Not once in his entire _life _had someone wanted to know his name. It had always been get what they can from him and then leave.

"…" The male's lip quivered as he stood there in uncertainty, not sure what to do.

Shunsui's smile didn't waver. He waited patiently for the answer.

"…J-jushiro…" the white-haired male whispered, his voice thick with fear. "…U-ukitake Jūshirō …"

Shunsui smiled. "Jūshirō, huh? What a nice name. So, how about it? Want to get some lunch with me, Jūshirō?"

More tears rolled down Jūshirō's cheeks. He had never been complimented before, either – not unless it was one of his buyers telling him how great a fuck he was.

The Ukitake didn't get a chance to reply before his stomach rumbled loudly. He blushed and looked away, expecting for the brunet to make fun of him.

"I guess that answers my question," Shunsui said softly. "I know a nice café down the road from here. Please, join me, Jūshirō."

Jūshirō reluctantly nodded, knowing it may be the last chance he would get for a while to eat. He was already starving, having been unable to acquire anything consumable for a few days now.

Shunsui was ecstatic. He waited patiently for the white-haired man to follow behind him, hoping that he would be able to gain the frailer man's trust. It was clear that something wasn't right with Jūshirō; he was a prostitute and did drugs, but Shunsui knew there was something deeper to the other male.

For one, it was hot outside, so unless Jūshirō was hiding what Shunsui was, he shouldn't be wearing the blue sweater that he was.

Two, the male was covered in bruises and the white scarf that was wrapped around his neck didn't leave much to the imagination.

And three; Jūshirō was clearly damaged emotionally and didn't seem to have much self-worth – if he had any at all. He also didn't have an understanding that people might not want him just for sex, if his reactions to Shunsui were anything to go by.

So now, as Jūshirō followed behind silently with a bit of distance between them, Shunsui prayed to Nanao that this would go okay – the younger reminded him so much of his own self, and he knew that if it weren't for Nanao who had given up everything to pull him out of hell, he would have killed himself by now. There was no way he could ignore a man that desperately needed a Nanao of their own.

**-XX-**

"You're very quiet."

Jūshirō flinched at Shunsui's voice and lowered his head, apologising automatically out of a habit that had been beaten into him many years ago.

"Don't be sorry." Shunsui smiled at his companion. "I don't mind if you're quiet. You should eat your roll while it is still fresh."

Jūshirō cast a wary glance at the salad roll sitting before him. His stomach churned at the thought of eating, no matter how hungry he was. He fiddled with his sleeves in nervous habit, but it seemed that Shunsui picked this up almost instantly.

"You don't need to be nervous around me." Shunsui offered another smile. "I'm fairly harmless. Is there something wrong with your roll?"

Jūshirō shook his head. He looked down at his sleeve, continuing to fiddle around. He was waiting for the moment the brunet would bend him over the table and fuck him, or at least yell at him or tell him how worthless he was. There was absolutely no way this man would bring him here without an ulterior motive.

"If you're not hungry, that's fine." Shunsui reached out and grabbed the plate from the other man, provoking a harsh flinch and whimper from the other. He sighed inwardly, not having meant for such a thing to happen. "I apologise for having startled you, Jūshirō, but I think I know why you aren't eating. You're so hungry and this looks like too much to eat, right?"

When the smaller male nodded warily, Shunsui smiled.

"I know how to fix that. Let's go halves in this, okay?" Shunsui carefully broke the roll in half. When some of the salad slipped out and onto the plate, he left it there, knowing it would probably look more appetising if it weren't so intimidatingly large.

Jūshirō's eyes were wide as one half of his roll was slipped back in front of him. He had honestly expected Shunsui to sit there and eat it in front of him.

"Is that better?" Shunsui asked as he lifted his own half of the roll to his lips. He took a bite. "Wow, this is great. Try it, Jūshirō. I'm sure you'll like it."

Jūshirō hesitantly reached out. His shaking hand hovered by his food, too scared to so much as touch it; it would come as no surprise if this were all a trap set up to abuse him – it wouldn't be the first time such a thing has happened…

When Shunsui did nothing but eat his own food, Jūshirō warily reached out. He grabbed a slice of tomato that was sitting on the plate and brought it to his lips. His green eyes were fixated on the brunet, ready to flee at the first sign of aggression.

"See?" Shunsui grinned brightly as he watched Jūshirō shakily place another piece of salad into his mouth. "It's nice. That's not so bad now, is it?"

Jūshirō shook his head. He looked down at his lap as he ate slowly, absolutely starved now that he was getting food into his weak belly.

Things were quiet between the two for a while as Jūshirō ate slowly and Shunsui people-watched. The Kyōraku sipped at his sake as Ukitake gulped his tea down like a lifeline.

Shunsui wanted nothing more than to invite Jūshirō to come back to his apartment with him, but he was certain that would illicit another negative reaction from Jūshirō. It would, without a doubt, break the fragile and barely-existing bond Shunsui had been able to establish between them with the unintentional promise of sex that Shunsui would never have meant to imply.

If Jūshirō were to return back to his apartment, Shunsui would not do such cruel and degrading things to someone who was obviously suffering – no! He wanted to build a friendship with this man and help him out the same way Nanao had. But the thing was, it was clear that Jūshirō was expecting nothing but pain from Shunsui. It would take a long time before Shunsui would be able to forge enough trust into Jūshirō that the smaller man would let him help.

Shunsui yawned lazily as he looked up from his phone where he had been texting. He noticed the way Jūshirō flinched and quickly averted his gaze.

"Hey, Juu?" Shunsui sent a lazy smile to the Ukitake. "Would it be alright if we have lunch again sometime soon?"

Jūshirō's eyes widened with shock. There were a lot of things he had been expecting, but this… This was…

"…I-I…" Jūshirō's trembling hands pulled roughly at his sleeves as he struggled to comprehend his own thoughts. "…I…"

"It's alright if you don't wish to," Shunsui reassured, sensing the inner turmoil the other was experiencing. "It was just that I enjoyed your company so much, I'd love to have lunch with you again. My treat, of course."

Jūshirō's lip quivered. He was conflicted. He wanted to believe that Shunsui would be different from the others seeing as he was the first person in nearly his entire existence who had never hurt him, but his life experiences had shaped him to believe that no one could be trusted – that there _were _no kind people out there.

"…I…" Jūshirō reached up and grabbed at his hair. Shunsui stayed quiet, knowing that it was best for him to stay out of this. Jūshirō's eyes were wide, a clear sign of panic. Horrible coughs forced their way out of Jūshirō's chest and, without another word, Ukitake had run from the café.

People turned to stare in a questioning manner at Shunsui, as if the male had done something to cause such a bad reaction. Shunsui just shrugged at them and gathered his things, ready to leave.

"That could have gone better…" Shunsui muttered to himself as he continued his lonesome walk home. He would never get used to not having Nanao walk beside him anymore, but what hurt the most was having come out of their favourite café without her.

_I tried, Nanao-chan… _Shunsui thought. _…I really tried… He's going to be a tough one. But then again, I guess I was, too. _


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N You'll get a bit into Jūshirō's mind in this chapter and have a bit of an understanding as to why he is, but he's very complex. **

Shunsui couldn't deny the fact that he absolutely hated not having a job. He had to sit around his apartment all day with nothing to do, which was why he adored it when his friends would come over and visit. He was currently opening the door for one of his good friends and her family.

"Rangiku-chan." Shunsui smiled and hugged the blonde woman standing at his door. He turned the two behind her and greeted them warmly. "Gin-kun, Tōshirō-kun. How are we all today?"

"Eh, Shiro-chan's tired."

Shunsui looked up at the silver-haired male that was holding Matsumoto Rangiku's hand. His eyes were closed and a bright smile was drawn upon his face. He chuckled a little.

"Is that so, Gin-kun? Well, I have lots of watermelon left over that needs to be eaten."

The small boy with white hair, who was previously slumped against his foster father, Ichimaru Gin, now perked up. His eyes showed a stunning blue that simmered with curiosity.

"Watermelon?" The little boy smiled up at Shunsui.

The Kyōraku nodded and smiled back. "And it has your name all over it, Tōshirō-kun. Come in and I'll get it for you."

Tōshirō made his way into the apartment, always loving the promise of watermelon. He was sure that Shunsui only ever stocked up on it to give to him because it seemed that the food was always whole until Tōshirō arrived.

Rangiku and Gin followed, making themselves comfortable on the couch in the living room. They waited patiently as they heard Shunsui and Tōshirō in the kitchen, talking happily as lunch was prepared.

"Is it just me or did Shun seem to have something on his mind when he answered the door?" Rangiku whispered to her partner.

Gin shrugged. "Dunno."

Rangiku turned back as Tōshirō made his way towards them with a large bowl full of watermelon. The child climbed up onto Gin's lap and snuggled in close, chewing happily at his treat. Gin wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him close.

"What's news, Shun?" Rangiku asked as Shunsui sat down on the chair across the room.

Shunsui shrugged. "Not much. There's this man…"

Rangiku and Gin's curiosity spiked as Shunsui drifted off in what seemed to be uncertainty.

"Ooh, a man." Rangiku grinned, wondering where this story was going. "All your stories are usually about a pretty girl you've seen, not men."

Shunsui groaned and slapped a hand to his forehead. "It's not like that! It's just… When I first saw him… He was, uh… He works on the street, you know what I mean?"

Rangiku raised an eyebrow in horrified understanding as Gin's eyes opened slightly. He tightened his hold on Tōshirō, knowing that if this story got too graphic like Shunsui's accounts usually did, he would need to take the boy outside.

"Anyway," Shunsui was trying to be careful about what he said in front of Tōshirō, "so I was walking home from one of my meetings, and… I-I found him… He was, uh… busy… But it was clear he _hated _it…"

"Poor thing…" Rangiku mumbled.

"…Second time I saw him, he offered his body for…" Shunsui glanced at the boy who was content with watermelon before he looked back at the other two. "…You know… One of my old habits…"

Gin shook his head as Rangiku frowned.

"…I talked him into having lunch with me, and it went well, but he ended up freaking out and running off…"

"Yer sure he works the streets?" Gin asked. He continued on when Shunsui nodded. "Ya know his name?"

"Ukitake," Shunsui said. "Ukitake Jūshirō."

Gin frowned at the name. "Ya should stay 'way from him, Kyōraku-san."

"You know him?"

"Nah – Aizen knows 'im."

Shunsui wasn't surprised by this; Aizen Sōsuke was Gin's best friend and was into things like prostitution. He wondered what Jūshirō had done to make Aizen convince his friend that Jūshirō should be left alone.

"Aizen says he's bad news," Gin cleared up, understanding that Shunsui was confused. "'Says he has lots a' problems and the like. He bought Ukitake once and said he was good outside a' sex, but then he just…"

"I could tell he had some issues, but surely they can't be _that _bad…" Shunsui tried to defend the white-haired man.

Gin shrugged. "All I know is what Aizen has told me. App'rently he had some sort a' mental breakdown after Aizen had finished with 'im and started ta throw things and screamed at him. Wouldn't let Aizen touch him ta calm him down. Aizen said he sat there and cried himself ta sleep and had nightmares all night."

"I don't blame him…" Shunsui mumbled.

"Yeah, but when Aizen woke up the next morning, Ukitake was in his…" Gin looked down at the child in his lap before he covered the tiny ears with his hands. "…Ukitake was in his drug stash and was app'rntly high as a' kite. Wanted Aizen ta fuck him 'gain. Said that Ukitake threw a' fit when Aizen wouldn't."

"…" Shunsui looked down at his lap, not sure what to think about this information. "…Surely there was some misunderstanding…"

"Well, if Ukitake trying ta slash his wrists in Aizen's kitchen is a' misund'standing, then sure. But I think he has serious problems. Should stay 'way from him, Kyōraku-san."

"…" Shunsui took a few moments to reply, but when he did, it was with a bitter tone. "…Tried to slash his wrists, you say? In other words, tried to kill himself?"

"Aizen gave me that impression, yes." Gin nodded.

"…Then…" Shunsui rolled down his sleeve, looking at his scarred wrist. "…I guess it would have been better for Nanao to stay away from me, right?"

Gin frowned. "I didn't mean it that way…"

"Jūshirō tried to kill himself…" Shunsui mumbled. "_I _tried to kill myself… But where would I be if people like Nanao stayed away from me? I_ would _be dead. Maybe… Jūshirō doesn't have anyone who wants to save him. Maybe he _needs _someone to save him, 'cause we all know I've been down that road before."

"Shun, I…" Rangiku frowned. "…We understand what you mean, but what Gin is saying is that he feels Jūshirō is… more _lost _than you…"

"All the more reason I want to help him." Shunsui sent a defiant glare at his friends. "I can't let anyone suffer like I did. I have to give something back to this world. I can't sit here and let Jūshirō do this to himself!"

"Ya don't even know 'im!" Gin tried to reason.

"I don't have to know him to be able to see the agony in his eyes, Gin-kun…"

Gin sighed before he shrugged. "It's yer life. But be careful. Ya don't know what yer gettin' yerself inta."

"Maybe not," Shunsui agreed, "but it's going against my morals to ignore him."

Gin shook his head, a small smile crossing his lips. "Yer too kind, Kyōraku-san."

Shunsui smiled back, standing up and going to grab a blanket for the now-sleeping Tōshirō.

_Do you think I can do this, Nanao-chan? _Shunsui thought to himself. _…You always have believed that I am stronger than I think I am… I think you're right, too. I think if you believe in me, I can do this. …I love you… Nanao-chan… So fucking much…_

**-XX-**

The third time Shunsui saw Jūshirō was at the grocery store. The brunet had been walking through the aisles lazily, not particularly sure what he wanted to stock his shelves with, but knowing that he had to get _something _since he was taking care of Tōshirō for a few days and he was pretty much out of food.

"Anything you want in particular, Tōshirō-kun?" Shunsui offered as he grabbed a box of breakfast cereal at random and threw it into his shopping trolley.

"Just watermelon." Tōshirō sent a hopeful glance up at his guardian.

Shunsui laughed. "Already dealt with, of course. Watermelon is always in stock at my house."

Tōshirō clapped his hands together in a gleefully childish way that made Shunsui's heart drop. The boy was very intelligent – a genius, his school teachers proudly praised – but his development had been… _damaged, _so to speak, which was why he was in foster care with Gin and Rangiku.

As Shunsui finished up the last of the food shopping, he and Tōshirō started heading towards the counters, ready to pay for everything and then leave. However, a familiar mane of white hair caught Shunsui's attention.

"Tōshirō-kun?" Shunsui stopped walking and grabbed the small boy's shoulder. "Could you do me a favour and pay for all of this? I've just got to talk to someone, okay?"

Tōshirō nodded and took the money he had been handed.

Shunsui approached the man standing in the personal care aisle. He glanced at what the other was looking at, disheartened to see that the smaller male was looking at bandages.

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui spoke, careful to stay a distance back in case the flighty man decided he wanted to leave.

Said male jumped and spun around, a small bottle of ointment slipping out of his sleeve and breaking on the ground. He flinched and stepped back.

Shunsui's heart broke. "Jūshirō, really? You can't afford these things?"

"…" Jūshirō shook his head.

Kyōraku sighed and stepped forward. "What did you need? Are you hurt? I'll buy you everything you need, okay? There's no need to steal."

Jūshirō glanced up at Shunsui with tears in his eyes. He sniffed, unable to comprehend this man's offer. He gasped as the brunet reached out and grabbed another bottle of ointment as well as a few bandages.

"Anything else you need?" Shunsui smiled.

Jūshirō shook his head, reaching out for the things Shunsui held but, to his surprise, Shunsui clutched them closer to him.

"Yare yare, Jūshirō," Shunsui said softly, "don't steal, okay? I'm going to buy these for you."

Jūshirō didn't understand what the other was doing, but he followed Shunsui anyway. He stopped and stared when Shunsui stood next to a little boy after having placed his items down with a lot of other things.

Shunsui noticed the way Jūshirō hesitated to approach them. He gestured for the smaller male to come forward, but it was no surprise when it took several minutes before Jūshirō came to their side.

"Jūshirō, this is Tōshirō," Shunsui introduced. He noticed the way a strange glint entered the white-haired man's eye, but he didn't comment on it. "I'm taking care of him for a few days while his foster parents go and visit their friend."

Jūshirō was quiet, but he nodded anyway. He took another step forward, his eyes fixated on Tōshirō. He jumped when the cashier told the cost of the purchases to Shunsui, a small whimper escaping his lips.

All eyes turned to Jūshirō, only causing the man to start to shake. He whimpered again as his eyes filled with tears.

"Jūshirō?" Shunsui whispered, hoping he could settle the other before Jūshirō did anything stupid like last time. "Jūshirō, you alright?"

Jūshirō turned to look at Shunsui, an expression resembling that of a caged animal on his face. Shunsui reached out slowly, knowing he needed to get the smaller man out of here.

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui said in a gentle tone. He held his hands out in front of him, making no move to approach the distressed man. "Jūshirō, if you can trust me, take my hand, alright? I only want to help you. Take my hands if you'll let me help you."

Tears dripped down the male's pale cheeks as he stared at the hands like they were going to bite him. Jūshirō looked over to the small child who looked frightened before he looked up at the brunet before him.

"I only want to help you…" Shunsui whispered. "I know you probably won't believe me, but… you _can _trust me…"

Jūshirō didn't know why he took the outstretched hands. He just did. When he had met Shunsui for the first time, the Kyōraku really did seem to be genuine. And he even had a _kid _with him. None of the other people Jūshirō had ever interacted with had kids. But could those little details really mean that Shunsui was an okay person? Or was Jūshirō just desperate to trust and starved for love?

Shunsui couldn't help but feel his heart soar when the pale hands grabbed his own. He tugged gently, knowing he had to be careful or else the man would probably run away again. He took Jūshirō outside and sat him down on the bench just outside the front doors.

"Take deep breaths, okay?" Shunsui soothed to the man. "It's alright. I know. You're safe here. You're safe."

For the first time, Jūshirō found it easy to stop an on-coming panic attack. He looked up at Shunsui with wide eyes, not understanding why the brunet had taken time out of his day to try and help him. No one else ever cared; he was always left alone – even when he would sit there and cough up blood and consequently pass out.

"You're alright here with me," Shunsui said. "I promise. I won't let you get hurt."

"…" Jūshirō whimpered. He couldn't understand what was going on. Could he truly trust Shunsui or not? He hadn't been able to trust anyone else in his life – so why should someone he had only met a handful of times be the first person he gave it to?

"You're bleeding…" Shunsui looked sad as he gestured to Jūshirō's sleeve. The white-haired man looked down, his heart starting to race as he saw his sleeve now saturated with blood.

"…I-I…" Jūshirō gulped, his panic rising again as Shunsui move closer to him. Was Kyōraku going to hurt him for this…? "…I…"

Everything Shunsui did surprised Jūshirō – especially now when the man sat down on the bench and reached out, his hands hovering inches away from Jūshirō's.

"May I help?" Shunsui asked.

Jūshirō widened his eyes as he looked at the other man. He sniffed, reaching up and wiping at his eyes. Wasn't this what he had always wanted? For someone to notice his pain – for someone to _care…? _Why did it hurt so much…? Why did it hurt for someone to offer what he had always wanted? …Why couldn't he… say yes…?

"…" Jūshirō made a small choking noise in the back of his throat as he moved his hands closer to Shunsui, a silent answer.

Shunsui kept calm as he ever-so-carefully lifted the bloodied sleeves, not certain of what injuries were where, but having an idea about what had happened; Jūshirō must have been a self-harmer like he once was.

When Kyōraku was sure that the sleeves were rolled up to the top of the injuries, his heart broke as he observed the extent of the damage. Jūshirō's arms were _shredded. _Cuts upon cuts crisscrossed over his wrists, leaving no skin untouched, scars and gashes lined the top of the male's arms and even the sides, going all the way up to the man's elbows. The skin of the elbow was untouched, but a few cuts were present above the joint. A few of the cuts on the man's wrists were bleeding, staining the skin red.

"Let's see here…" Shunsui thought about what he could do to help the other. He knew from personal experience that the amount of blood dripping from Jūshirō's arms wasn't exactly life-threatening, but if he left it untreated, it could be dangerous. He stayed calm, trying to think about how he could handle this. "…I left the bandages and ointment at the register. Will you stay here for two seconds so I can run in and grab them?"

Jūshirō nodded, holding his left wrist against his white shirt, knowing that he couldn't leave even if he wanted to; he felt far too weak and he was sure his legs would collapse under him if he tried to move. He watched as Shunsui disappeared back inside the building, almost sure that the other would not return – so when Kyōraku came back outside with the ointment, bandages, a cloth and bottle of water, his heart raced faster than ever; Shunsui had… kept his word…

"This will hurt…" Shunsui said regrettably as he tipped some of the water onto the cloth. He grabbed the smaller male's arm carefully and placed the cloth on the wounds as gently as he could. He winced inwardly when Jūshirō hissed and whimpered. "I know… I know… But it's for the best; you don't want an infection, now, do you?"

Jūshirō shook his head, the stinging beginning to become too much for him. He sobbed quietly as Shunsui cleaned him up.

For Shunsui's part, he hoped desperately that Jūshirō didn't have any STDs or other diseases he could catch from blood. He pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind and focused instead on treating the other, doing his best to avoid touching blood.

Minutes had passed by and Tōshirō came out of the building with several bags in his arms. He stood by Shunsui, looking up at Jūshirō with curious eyes.

"Why does everyone do that to themselves?" Tōshirō asked, gesturing to Jūshirō's wounds. "I don't understand."

"…O-others…" Jūshirō swallowed uneasily before he spoke again. "…Others d-do it, too…?"

"I used to do it," Shunsui explained , sensing that this was something the other needed to know. Maybe it would help him feel like he wasn't alone. "My arms were as bad as yours are – maybe even worse. I have other friends who do it, too. You're not the only one who does it."

"…" Jūshirō licked his lips before he spoke again, in a voice laced with fear. "…Have you ever wanted to die, as well…?"

"Wanted to die?" Shunsui couldn't help but smile sadly. "Jūshirō… I've _tried _to kill myself… I would have done it, too, had my… my girlfriend not found me…"

Tōshirō placed the bags down on the ground and wrapped his arms around Shunsui, knowing that the other was becoming upset.

Jūshirō, though, was confused; he had never met someone who had had a girlfriend before. He had seen couples on the streets, looking so happy together, but it was something he didn't understand; why was everyone else happy and with someone else, while he… was all alone…?

"…You have a girlfriend…?" Jūshirō whispered.

"…I did…" A single tear dripped down Shunsui's cheek at this question. "…She… She passed away not long ago…"

Jūshirō looked down at his lap. This was no act… This was the real thing… Shunsui had honestly loved his girlfriend…

"…I'm sorry…" Jūshirō whispered, not understanding what he was supposed to do now. "…I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault." Shunsui smiled. "It's not your fault, so don't be sorry, okay?"

Jūshirō nodded. He clenched at his pants leg with his right hand as Shunsui wrapped a bandage around his left wrist. "…Are you… lonely, too…?"

"Lonely?" Shunsui let a few more tears slip past his eyes. "...Yeah… I am… I miss my girlfriend, and I don't want to burden my friends with my problems…"

Jūshirō, for the first time in his life, felt as if someone understood him. He had never had someone listen to him like this before, and he had never known that there were other people out there who felt like he did.

"Jūshirō…?" Shunsui asked in a soft voice once he taped the bandage together. "…Would you like to come back to my apartment with me and Tōshirō-kun? I'm a good cook."

Jūshirō ducked his head, tensing as he nodded warily. He missed the genuinely happy smile Shunsui slipped onto his face and instead followed the other two, not quite sure what he was getting himself into, but for once finding that he felt as if he could… _believe _someone's words…


	4. Chapter 4

Tōshirō had never met someone as quiet as Jūshirō. Nearly everyone else he knew was loud and rambunctious, or soft-spoken. But Jūshirō… Tōshirō had counted barely three sentences come out of the white-haired man's mouth since they arrived back at Shunsui's apartment fifteen minutes ago.

The boy was sitting on the chair, watching Jūshirō curiously. The pale man was sitting on the floor by the couch, looking down at his lap. He was shaking as if he were afraid of something. Tōshirō didn't like to see someone looking so uncomfortable, so he moved and sat down next to the man.

"Hi." Tōshirō smiled.

Jūshirō looked up with wary eyes. A ghost of a smile crossed Jūshirō's lips. "H-hi…"

"How old are you?" Tōshirō's green eyes were wide with curiosity.

"…Twenty-six…" Jūshirō seemed uneasy about answering this question, but this was just a child; surely there couldn't be much harm, right…?

"I'm twelve, but everyone agrees that I am very intelligent for my age." Tōshirō puffed out his chest in pride, drawing a small smile from Jūshirō.

"That's… good." Jūshirō nodded, deciding that this boy wasn't hard to talk to. Maybe it was the air of childish innocence around him, but there was something about Tōshirō that made him feel safe. "Do you… Do you like school…?"

Tōshirō shook his head. "No. I hate it. I get bullied a lot, but I don't go to school to make friends; I go to learn."

Jūshirō frowned. He didn't like to hear that Tōshirō was bullied. "I… I got bullied when I attended school, too…"

Tōshirō scooted closer to Jūshirō, noticing the way the man pulled at the sleeves of his sweater and occasionally raked his nails down his bandages.

"Is that a nervous habit?" Tōshirō asked. Jūshirō flinched. "When you pull at your sweater. My dad bites his nails when he is nervous."

"It is… But I thought you were being fostered…?"

"I am. But I never really knew my parents, so I just call Gin and Rangiku my parents when I talk about them. They are like my parents anyway. I got taken away from my real ones when I was really little and lived with my grandmother. But she… She passed away when I was six…"

"I'm sorry…" Jūshirō whispered.

"Well, she was really old," Tōshirō said. "I don't remember her very much, but I remember she loved me and gave me what I needed. What about your family?"

Jūshirō flinched. His pulling at his sweater became worse as sweat started to form on his forehead. "…I-I…"

Before Jūshirō had to think any further on a topic that clearly distressed him, Shunsui appeared out of nowhere and swooped Tōshirō up into his arms.

"Tōshirō-kun!" Shunsui exclaimed happily as he lifted Tōshirō onto his shoulders. "Did'ja miss me, Shiro-chan?"

Tōshirō pouted. "Put me down!"

"Nu-uh!" Shunsui twirled around on the spot, chuckling happily. "Not until you say you missed me!"

"Fine! I missed you – now put me down!"

Shunsui laughed as he set the boy on his feet before he pulled him into a hug. He glanced at Jūshirō who had been watching with a wary curiosity. The Ukitake had probably never witnessed such a friendly act up close before.

"Does my Jūshirō want a hug, too?" Shunsui teased slightly, holding his arms open. He sounded like he was playing, but he was still genuinely offering.

Jūshirō blushed and looked down, scooting backwards. He shook his head and instead wrapped his own arms around himself.

Shunsui smiled softly. "That's okay, Jūshirō. Come on; lunch is ready. Chicken nuggets with chips."

Jūshirō slowly got to his feet, following a safe distance behind the two. He stood awkwardly by the dining table, too scared to sit; he didn't want to have to get chased off again because he was a 'filthy whore'…

"Jūshirō, you can sit down." Shunsui turned and sent another smile to the smaller man over his shoulder as he dished everything up. "Anyway, how hungry are you? There's plenty here."

Jūshirō shrugged, keeping his eyes focused firmly on his feet. He still didn't sit, even when Shunsui placed a plate laden with a few nuggets and a handful of chips in front of the spare seat. He winced, not needing to compare his plate with the other two, knowing that he had gotten barely any.

Shunsui, upon sensing Jūshirō's distress, spoke. "I remember back at the café, you didn't want to eat because it looked like so much for you. So I thought I'd start you off with a small meal, and if you are still hungry, there is plenty left over for you to eat."

Jūshirō nodded, tugging at his sleeves again. He remained standing, too sure that this had to be where Shunsui showed his true colours and turned into an ass. However, he was truly surprised when Shunsui left his own seat and moved to Jūshirō before he pulled out the spare chair and ever-so-tenderly manoeuvred him into it.

Jūshirō just stared up at the brunet with wide eyes, not understanding why he was allowed on the furniture – his buyers never allowed him on anything except the bed, and even then he more often than not witnessed the sheets being destroyed the next morning. Was he really so dirty…?

_Shunsui doesn't seem to think I am… _Jūshirō thought. _But then again… He's probably setting you up for this… Giving you a false sense of comfort… _

Shunsui didn't miss the way Jūshirō randomly flinched. He worried about what was going on through the man's head, but he knew better than to question him. He instead focused on his meal, pretending that he had not noticed anything for Jūshirō's sake.

"Tōshirō-kun?" Shunsui spoke, breaking the silence in an attempt to help Jūshirō relax; perhaps if he was around a calm conversation he could understand that Shunsui would not hurt him. "How have your parents been? I hadn't seen them for a while until they came over the other day."

Tōshirō shrugged. "Rangiku's been fussing over me and taking me shopping with her every day again. She's been good, I guess, but she should learn how to clean up sake bottles because I hate having to step over them in the mornings."

Shunsui laughed and nodded. "Sounds like her."

"And Gin? He's been good, too, I think. He's been working and hanging out with Aizen a lot, I guess. He was a bit worried about Kira-san when he got the phone-call, but I think he's alright."

Jūshirō looked up at this. Phone-call? And worried about it? He so desperately wanted to know what Tōshirō was talking about, but he knew better than to ask.

"I'm sure Kira-kun will be okay." Shunsui smiled at Tōshirō. He turned back to Jūshirō, wanting the other to know that he could be a part of their conversations if he wanted to be. "Do you want to talk with us, Jūshirō? You can if you want to. You don't need to be afraid."

Jūshirō looked down at his plate, hiding his face. How could he tell them that he had never once been invited to join in on someone's conversation before and was always hurt if he so much as listened in?

"…" Jūshirō looked up with damp eyes. He shook his head, wanting desperately to join in on a conversation but not wanting to be abused again for trying.

Shunsui nodded in understanding. "I see. Well, you can listen to us, and if you ever feel ready, just jump in whenever, okay? Ask us questions, bring up topics – whatever. Tōshirō-kun can converse like an adult so it's always interesting."

Jūshirō nodded, picking at one of his chicken nuggets. He liked the way they had been cooked; they tasted better than anything he had had in a while, even if they had just simply been reheated.

"Anyway, Tōshirō-kun, please don't worry about Kira-kun, okay?" Shunsui smiled gently at the boy. "I'm sure everything will turn out okay."

Tōshirō nodded. "Shunsui? …Do you think… "

When Tōshirō trailed off, Shunsui leant in closer, knowing that something was eating at the boy. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Shiro-chan."

"…" Tōshirō sighed before he spoke again. "…If Kira-san doesn't make it this time… Gin and Rangiku will be very distraught… But if Kira-san makes it and has to stay in the hospital… Will they… spend less time with me…? What if they're always with Kira-san? What if they… forget about me…?"

Shunsui exhaled softly, knowing that this would definitely be a distressing topic for Tōshirō. He glanced at Jūshirō, knowing that the smaller man was trying his best not to listen in.

"Jūshirō?" Shunsui's voice was soft as he reached out to grip Tōshirō's hand. "I know you're doing your best to keep yourself out of our conversation, but I want you to know that you are welcome to at least listen to what we say, okay? We're all very open and we don't keep secrets from each other. You are very welcome to listen to this conversation, alright?"

Jūshirō nodded with a gulp. Shunsui turned back to Tōshirō.

"I don't know how to start this, Tōshirō-kun, but your parents love Kira-kun very much. They've known him for a very long time and they are all extremely close. Kira-kun… hid his depression from everyone until he tried to end his life. That in itself caused a lot suffering for them all. Kira-kun is doing better now, but he has relapses, and he's closest with Gin and Rangiku. He needs them there to help him get through it. Now don't get me wrong, Shiro-chan; they both love you with all their hearts, but Kira-kun is very important to them. I can't say for sure if they'll end up spending more time with Kira-kun than you, but I promise you that they will never forget you. They just want to help their friend, okay? And sometimes… when you're helping someone, you don't mean to do it, but you end up pushing away people important to you. But you know you've always got a place here in my heart. I love you very much, Shiro-chan, and you can stay here for as long as you need while Kira-kun is in hospital again."

Tōshirō nodded. He stood up and moved to Shunsui's side, climbing into the man's lap and burying his face in the warm chest. Shunsui wrapped his arms tightly around him, holding him close.

Jūshirō watched this with a strange feeling in his stomach. It was warm, and it made him feel… He couldn't name the emotion, but it was like a good kind of fuzzy feeling. He smiled weakly at Shunsui when the man turned to face him.

"I've always wanted kids," Shunsui confided in Jūshirō. He ran a hand through Tōshirō's hair before he spoke again. "But I can't have children. Tōshirō is like my little surrogate."

Jūshirō nodded. He licked at his lips before he spoke hesitantly. "…I… I-I love kids…"

"Me too." Shunsui saw the heartbroken expression on Jūshirō's face and he knew that it was because the man had missed out on so much. He glanced at Tōshirō briefly, knowing that the younger wanted comfort. "Do you want to hold Shiro-chan?"

Jūshirō's eyes widened in surprise. He spluttered, unable to believe his ears. "I-I, uh – I – you don't – I…!"

"Juu." Shunsui put on his most comforting smile as he stood up and carried Tōshirō to the man. "It's okay. I understand that you have your reasons for being afraid of touch, but Tōshirō is very sweet and loves to be held. And I'm sure he'll make you feel better, too."

Jūshirō glanced down at his lap. His body shivered as Shunsui got closer, but for the sake of not hurting the boy, he kept himself still. He tensed as a small weight was placed on his lap, but for the first time ever, it was not because someone wanted to hurt him.

"Just put your arms around him." Shunsui smiled encouragingly, seeing the confusion and uneasiness on Jūshirō's face.

Jūshirō hesitantly did as he was told. He gasped as the warm body nestled in closer to him, but it surprisingly brought him comfort. He glanced at Shunsui in uncertainty, deciding that having held the boy for a minute was long enough.

"Come here, Tōshirō-kun." Shunsui scooped the boy back up into his arms and carried him over to his own chair. "I think you've had enough hugs for the day."

Tōshirō smiled and returned back to his own food.

Jūshirō was beginning to struggle. He could feel his withdrawals settling in and he was scared. He didn't like it when he suffered withdrawals from his drugs; he would get either depressive or aggressive, and neither were pretty sights to witness.

Shunsui knew instantly what was wrong with the white-haired man as Jūshirō started to sweat. He stood up and took Tōshirō into the spare bedroom, asking him to stay in there so he could talk to Jūshirō alone.

Jūshirō was still at the table, picking silently at his chips. Shunsui pulled out the chair closest to him and straddled it as he placed his arms over the head and rested his chin on them.

"Withdrawals, huh?" Shunsui was so gentle as he spoke, it only served to surprise Jūshirō more. "I don't blame you. How long has it been since… since then?"

Jūshirō looked down at his lap. He tugged at his sleeves for a few seconds before he answered. "…This morning…"

Shunsui frowned; he must have been so dependent on drugs, he couldn't go for more than a few hours without them. He shook his head; this was only serving to prove that Jūshirō was more like Shunsui than he originally thought.

"I can't help you there, Juu," Shunsui said in a soft voice. "I gave up drugs not long before my girlfriend passed away. I don't have any in the apartment."

Jūshirō nodded. He sniffed as tears started to fill his eyes, his depression already worsening due to his withdrawal. He wiped at his eyes, hoping desperately that he wouldn't get angry with Shunsui; he may not be able to trust the other male, but he wanted to experience this… whatever it was for as long as he could before Shunsui hurt him without sabotaging himself.

"…I…" Jūshirō choked on a sob. "I should go… I-I'm…"

"I understand…" Shunsui was sincere as he spoke. He escorted Jūshirō to the door, but before the white-haired man could leave, he stopped him. "Jūshirō, please understand that you're always welcome at my home."

Jūshirō nodded, unable to believe the words but not wanting to cause a fuss. Within seconds, he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Two days had passed and Shunsui hadn't seen Jūshirō in that time. He was still looking after Tōshirō, having been informed that Gin and Rangiku would be staying at the hospital with their friend longer than had been expected.

"You are quiet today, Kyōraku."

Shunsui turned to glance at the male next to him. He shrugged. "Just thinking."

The man that was walking with Shunsui looked him up and down. "You do not think. What is on your mind?"

Shunsui shrugged again. "Just this person I met, Byakuya-kun."

"A person?" The male named Byakuya raised a slender eyebrow. "Surely you could spare more detail, Kyōraku?"

"It's a man and he has long white hair." Tōshirō smiled up at Byakuya. "Shunsui brought him home the other day, Kuchiki-sama."

Byakuya stopped walking at these words. "Not Ukitake Jūshirō?"

Shunsui frowned. "How do you know?"

"Matsumoto and Ichimaru informed me out of worry," Byakuya said. "What are you doing bringing drug-addicted prostitutes to your home while you are in charge of a child?"

Shunsui groaned. "It wasn't like that, Byakuya-kun! I just gave him some first aid, a meal and then he left! Like I'd have let anything happen."

"I don't think you need to worry, nii-sama," Byakuya's sister, Rukia said from her position beside Tōshirō. "Kyōraku-san wouldn't let anything happen to Tōshirō or himself."

"That is not the problem here, Rukia." Byakuya frowned. "The problem is that Matsumoto and Ichimaru do not want their child near people like Ukitake. Kyōraku is breaking their trust by doing what he did."

"Lighten up, Byakuya-kun. So I gave him a meal – who cares?"

"There is a reason Hitsugaya is kept away from people like Ukitake," Byakuya reprimanded. "Or have you forgotten that already?"

Before Shunsui could reply, loud shouting ahead of them caught their attention. There was a large crowd gathered on one of the streets, and angry shouts and pained cries could be heard. When a lock of white hair made itself visible for a brief second through a parting in the crowd, Shunsui's heart stopped.

"Jūshirō!" Without a thought to himself or the other people he had with him, Shunsui ran to the group. He pushed his way into the centre and lunged at the man who was pinning Jūshirō to the ground by the throat.

"Kyōraku!" Byakuya called after the brunet, not understanding why his friend would go to such extremes just to help a whore. "Kyōraku, stop!"

Shunsui didn't listen to the younger man and instead moved to stand before Ukitake, his fists out in front of him. He turned to face the person attacking the white-haired male; he was big, with blond hair hanging down his face.

"Leave him alone," Shunsui growled.

The blond man laughed. "Why are you protecting the slut? He wouldn't let me fuck him so I was gonna force him down, but he had to cause a scene."

"That's called _rape _and I'll kill you if you so much as _think _about doing it to him." Shunsui took a step forward, angrier than he had been in quite a while. "He's my _friend, _and I don't take well to people mistreating my friends."

"You must be a very lonely person if you can call a whore your friend." The blond man laughed again and took a swing at Shunsui.

Shunsui ducked it and retaliated with a punch to the man's face. He was expressionless as the male dropped to the ground with his hands over his nose.

"I don't like violence, but I'm not inclined to kicking someone's ass if I have to," Shunsui said. "I think it'd be better for you to just leave."

Jūshirō couldn't believe this; never before in his life had someone stood up for him… Shunsui… really _did _care…? Ukitake found it hard to believe that if Shunsui truly didn't care he would have stopped the white-haired male's beating – it wouldn't be the first time someone had claimed to care for him and then watch in excitement as he was raped by multiple friends of that person…

"Or what?" the man taunted, getting back to his feet. "You gonna try and hit me again?"

"No," a smooth voice said from behind the blond. "We will tag team you unless you leave."

The blond turned around, finding a raven-haired male standing behind him. He laughed; the raven was so skinny, he found it hard to believe that he could do anything. However, all doubts about that vanished when a powerful kick found itself connecting with the blond's stomach.

Shunsui watched as the male took this opportunity to back out. Byakuya approached him and the two turned to face Jūshirō. The white-haired male had a cut on his cheek and a bruise was forming around his eye. He reached out and gently wiped the blood away, ignoring the flinch he was rewarded with.

"Are you alright, Jūshirō?" Shunsui asked in a gentle voice. He reached out, hoping that Jūshirō would take his hand. "I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner; we could have stopped it before he laid a hand on you otherwise."

Jūshirō was crying, his body shaking. His eyes were wide and fear was the prominent emotion in them. He looked up at Shunsui and then the black-haired man standing next to the brunet. He ducked his head, scared that the raven would hurt him.

Shunsui seemed to sense Jūshirō's discomfort and tried his hardest to diffuse it. "It's okay, Juu; this is my friend, Byakuya. He won't hurt you. Can you tell me what happened?"

By now, most of the crowd had dispersed with only a few onlookers watching. Tōshirō and Rukia made their way over warily, unsure of what had happened but knowing that it was now over.

Jūshirō looked back up, tears falling harder than before. "…I-I… He wanted to use me… but he didn't have m-money…"

Byakuya looked away at these words, sickened by the whole scenario. It wasn't that he didn't like prostitutes or anything; it was that he couldn't fathom why anyone would want to sell their bodies.

"I said no…" Jūshirō continued on. "…I-I usually let them use me anyway if they can't pay, but I w-wasn't in the mood… So he tried to… to _force _me… in front of everyone…"

Shunsui shook his head, heartbroken by this information. He looked down at Jūshirō's body, only just now noticing that the man's jacket was gone, his white shirt was ripped and the dirty jeans he wore had disappeared, leaving the man uncovered.

Shunsui turned to Byakuya. "Can you find his jacket and jeans, please?"

Byakuya visibly cringed at the request but did so anyway; better him than his sister…

The brunet turned back to look at Jūshirō. He pulled his own jacket off and placed it over the male's lap, hiding him from view. Jūshirō just looked confused; surely by now the Kyōraku would have tried taking something from him…?

The small group of observers gasped in disgust as they saw Shunsui's arms, but not a word was mentioned to him. Shunsui himself just ignored them, focusing on Jūshirō.

Shunsui whispered little words of comfort to his friend as Byakuya searched for the clothing in question. When at last they were found, Shunsui helped the Ukitake redress.

"We were just on our way home from dinner," Shunsui explained to Jūshirō as the still-shaking man stared uncertainly at Byakuya. "Do you want to come home with me and have dinner?"

Jūshirō looked down at his feet as Byakuya sent a glare at the brunet. "…I-I'm not wanted there…"

Shunsui made a soft noise in the back of his throat. "That's not true, Juu. _I _want you there, and I'm sure Tōshirō-kun does, too. Don't worry about Byakuya; he hates everyone and he'll be returning to his _own _home, so he won't be there to frighten you, okay?"

Jūshirō looked down at Tōshirō, seeing the way the boy smiled and nodded in an encouraging manner. "…Okay…"

"You had better hope Matsumoto and Ichimaru do not find out about this…" Byakuya whispered as he turned to leave with Rukia behind him.

Shunsui smiled at Jūshirō, hoping that this time, the visit would go better than the previous times they had met.

**-XX-**

Jūshirō was slightly reluctant to step into Shunsui's apartment, but with gentle coaxing from Kyōraku, he made it through the doorway. He was lead into the couch and, even though he had been reassured he could sit on it just like the first time he had been here, he instead sat on the floor just beside the couch.

"Go have a bath, okay?" Shunsui whispered to Tōshirō after giving the boy a hug. "Go wash up and get ready for bed."

Tōshirō did as he was told, leaving Shunsui and Jūshirō alone. The brunet was sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels on the TV for something to watch as he thought about what he could cook for Jūshirō.

Kyōraku was so lost in his thoughts he didn't feel the hands on his thighs; he was only aware that someone was touching him when he felt someone pull his pants and underwear down from his hips, exposing his flaccid member.

Shunsui gasped and reached down, grabbing at his jeans before they disappeared. He looked into Jūshirō's frightened eyes, not sure what to think.

"W-what are you doing?!" Shunsui found himself blushing.

Jūshirō glanced away as he replied quietly. "…T-thanking you…"

"'Thanking me'? Jūshirō, I don't understand! Please, don't do this to yourself!"

_Do this to myself? _Jūshirō thought, bewildered. _He clearly isn't comfortable with this and he's still thinking about me…?_

"…I…" Tears welled up in Jūshirō's eyes as he tried to answer. "…I-I… You've taken care of me… No one else has ever bothered… A-and I know… I need to thank you… But this is the only thing I know…"

"…Jūshirō…" Shunsui's eyes softened. "…You don't have to do this, okay?"

Jūshirō reached up and rubbed at his wet eyes. "…I-I don't… understand you… Everyone wants this… It's all I'm good for… W-why are you saying no…?"

Shunsui knew that Jūshirō felt hurt by his reaction. Jūshirō felt sex was the only thing he was good for, right? Perhaps by being denied that, he felt utterly worthless? And it probably came as such a shock to find someone who didn't want what he was offering after the life he had presumably lived.

Kyōraku sighed softly. He lifted a hand, the palm facing towards Jūshirō's face. He saw the way Ukitake flinched, but he held still, waiting for the man to relax again. When Ukitake did, Shunsui moved his hand ever so slowly towards the smaller man until his palm was resting against a pale cheek.

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui smiled as the white-haired male looked up at him with slightly fearful eyes. "I understand what you're feeling, but… I just lost my girlfriend… I still love her very much, and I don't feel ready to look at another person in the way you're expecting me to. Do you understand?"

Jūshirō closed his eyes and pushed his cheek against the hand. He nodded. "…I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry." Shunsui moved his hand, rubbing circles along the skin in his palm. "It's not your fault. And _I'm _sorry if I have upset you by my reaction; I just wasn't expecting it."

Jūshirō nodded again. He had never been touched so gently before, but he liked it. The hand on his cheek… it brought him comfort he had never experienced before.

A low rumbling from Shunsui's chest brought Jūshirō out of his thoughts. He looked up again as the taller male chuckled.

"I almost forgot all about dinner." Shunsui smiled apologetically. "Let me go make it, okay? Do you like spaghetti?"

Jūshirō looked down and licked his lips. "…I have never had it before…"

"Then I guess you'll get to try it tonight, huh?" Shunsui stood up and moved to the kitchen. He pulled out pots and pans, preparing everything excitedly; he really felt as if he were getting somewhere with Jūshirō if their small physical interaction was anything to go by.

**-XX-**

When Tōshirō had finished his shower and gotten dressed in his blue pyjamas, he came back out into the kitchen. He smiled and sat at the table with Jūshirō and Shunsui, finding a small plate of spaghetti awaiting him.

"I wasn't sure if you were still hungry or not, so I made you a small plate." Shunsui smiled at Tōshirō.

"Thanks." Tōshirō picked up his fork and dug into his meal, very content; he loved Shunsui's cooking.

Jūshirō was quiet as he ate but, to Shunsui's relief, he wasn't picking at his food this time. Sure, he was still eating slowly, but at least he was eating. The Kyōraku was certain that Jūshirō was thinking.

"Juu?" Shunsui called softly. He smiled when green eyes fixed on him. "Would you like to stay the night here? It's cold outside and I don't have a car."

Jūshirō looked down at his lap. He took his chances, nodding silently.

"I'm glad." Shunsui smiled. "I only have one spare bedroom, and Tōshirō is currently borrowing it, so you wouldn't mind sleeping on the couch, would you?"

"…I-I can sleep on the floor…" Jūshirō whispered, still unable to accept the kindness he was given.

"Nonsense; it's floorboard and it will be cold. It's okay; people sleep on the couch all the time."

Jūshirō nodded after a few seconds. …As long as he wasn't going to be yelled at for being on the furniture…

Dinner was eaten in silence. Tōshirō was dismissed to bed with a hug from Shunsui, and the boy surprised Jūshirō by running up to the Ukitake and hugging him tightly. Shunsui just smiled as Jūshirō stood there in uncertainty.

"He really likes you," Shunsui said to Jūshirō once the white-haired boy had disappeared down the hallway. "I think you like him, too."

Jūshirō nodded. He tugged at the sleeves of his sweater as he started to speak. "…I… I like him, too… His name sounds like mine… And he has hair like mine, too… And eyes…"

Shunsui smiled. "I'll go get you some blankets."

"Y-you don't have to…" Jūshirō mumbled. "…I'm used to the cold…"

Shunsui frowned but didn't question the man's words; he had a feeling that Jūshirō didn't actually _have _a home and probably slept wherever he could.

"I'll get you blankets anyway so that you can get warmth if you want it." Shunsui smiled, heading to the linen cupboard in the hallway. He resurfaced in the living room a minute later, his arms full of blankets. "My bedroom is the first doorway on the left. If you need anything, wake me up, okay?"

Jūshirō nodded as he took the blankets. He would probably not use them anyway out of his uncertainty towards the brunet's kindness, but he figured it would upset Shunsui if he didn't accept them.

"Goodnight, Juu," Shunsui called cheerfully over his shoulder as he left for his own bedroom. "I hope you sleep well."

"…N-night…" Jūshirō mumbled as he dropped the blankets onto the floor beside the couch. He laid awake for a while, thinking about Shunsui, trying to understand why the Kyōraku was so kind to him. He couldn't come up with much, except for the man being naturally kind – he was good with Tōshirō, after all… Surely someone who was good with a child wasn't cruel… With that thought in mind, Jūshirō fell fast asleep.

**-XX-**

"_Nanao-chan~" Shunsui called as he unlocked the door to the apartment. "Nanao-chan, I have something for you~"_

_Shunsui kicked the door closed behind him, his arms full of flowers with a bag of chocolate hanging from his wrist. That was strange; Nanao wasn't answering him, despite that it was her day off work. _

"_Nanao-chan?" Shunsui called. He set his purchases on the couch and headed towards his bedroom, slightly concerned; Nanao wasn't silent like this. _

_As the brunet approached his bedroom, he reached out in order to push the door open. However, his hand was stilled by a muffled cry and a masculine voice hissing something. Shunsui felt his breath catch in his throat. What was…?_

"_Nanao-chan…?" Shunsui found himself whispering as he pushed the door open hesitantly. He was prepared for a lot of things, but not this; his girlfriend was tied up on the bed, naked and covered in blood as a man he had never seen before thrust in and out of her. _

_Shunsui's entire world stopped right there. He couldn't remember moving, nor could he remember having attacked the man. All he could remember was police talking to him as paramedics tried to remove Nanao's now-cold body from his arms as he sobbed hysterically into her bloodied hair. _

_Kyōraku was unaware of the knife wounds Nanao's attacker had inflicted on him; all that mattered was that his lovely, beautiful Nanao-chan was gone forever, and he couldn't do a thing about it._

_But suddenly, everything changed. Shunsui was standing at his girlfriend's coffin during the funeral, crying his heart out. It was just like what had happened during_ that _day, but Nanao's coffin lid certainly didn't swing open during the funeral like it did now._

"_You killed me…" Nanao hissed, blood clinging to her face as it had when she had been found. "You let him kill me… I asked you not to leave me alone, but you insisted on going out and buying me worthless shit… It's _your _fault I'm dead!"_

_Shunsui sobbed. He fell to the ground with his hands over his ears. "N-no… I-I love you, Nanao-chan! So much!"_

"_You let her die!" _

_Shunsui turned to the people who had attended the funeral. They were all glaring at him, chanting together._

"_All your fault!" They accused, pointing at Shunsui. "All your fault!"_

Shunsui bolted upright with a gasp as a small hand tugged at his night shirt. He panted heavily, wiping at the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead.

"S-shunsui…?"

Shunsui looked at Tōshirō with wide eyes. He tried to steady his breathing before he replied. "Y-yes, Tōshirō-kun…?"

"…I…" Tōshirō looked down at his feet. "…I can't sleep… I had a bad dream…"

Shunsui chuckled softly, reaching out to pull Tōshirō onto his lap. "So did I, Shiro-chan… So did I…"

The two stayed like that for a while, Tōshirō clinging to Shunsui as the man held him.

"Let's get a glass of water, okay?" Shunsui said as he put Tōshirō back down on his feet. "It'll help us both feel better."

Tōshirō nodded. He held Shunsui's hand as he was lead into the kitchen. He flicked the light switch on, but he was surprised when Shunsui turned it back off.

"Jūshirō is sleeping," Shunsui whispered. "I'm sure he needs some rest. Try and be quiet, okay?"

Tōshirō nodded. He waited patiently as the brunet turned the tap on and filled two glasses of water. He took the one that was handed to him and drunk slowly.

"Now let's go wash our faces and try and get some more sleep, okay?" Shunsui said, grabbing Tōshirō's hand again. "No more bad dreams for us tonight."

Shunsui went to walk, but Tōshirō tugged him back. He glanced questioningly at the boy, concerned.

"…Can…" Tōshirō licked at his lips before he asked his question. "…Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight…? I… I don't want to dream again…"

Shunsui chuckled as he leant down and hugged Tōshirō. "Of course you can. We'll go to the bathroom first, okay?"

"Okay."

With that, the two left the kitchen together.

Jūshirō had awoken as the two walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. He stayed silent, a bit concerned about whether or not he would get into trouble if he awoke. He couldn't help but smile softly at how gentle Shunsui was with Tōshirō and how he was thinking of Jūshirō by turning the light back off.

Maybe… Shunsui truly wasn't as bad as everyone else… With that thought in mind, Jūshirō reached down and pulled a blanket up, feeling safe enough to use at least one of the many beside him. He then slipped into his first peaceful sleep in many years.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N This is a very emotional chapter which I poured my heart into writing. If I were to be honest, a lot of the dialogue that Shunsui speaks to Tōshirō comes from my own life experiences and the way I spent many years feeling, which is why personally, I feel as if this chapter is very heartfelt.**

When Jūshirō's eyes opened to the sounds of food being dished up the next morning, he was shocked that he had let his guard down enough to sleep deeply. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, glancing over into the kitchen. Tōshirō was sitting at the table, swinging his legs back and forth as Shunsui tipped porridge into a bowl before him.

"Good morning, Jūshirō!" Shunsui exclaimed happily. "Would you like to eat breakfast with us?"

At the mention of breakfast, Jūshirō's face paled and he started to vomit. He fell off the couch and landed on the nest of blankets, unable to stop throwing up.

Shunsui was by his side instantly, not touching but kneeling next to the male. He patiently waited for Jūshirō to regain control of himself before he said anything – but before he could even open his mouth, Ukitake was cowering away from him.

"I-I'm sorry…!" Jūshirō whimpered. He raised an arm above his head as he turned away, trembling. Tears dripped down his cheeks. "I'm sorry…!"

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui spoke the man's name in a gentle mantra until said male looked at him. He could see the fear in those green orbs. "Jūshirō, it's okay. I promise you that it's okay. Everything's okay. I understand that you didn't mean it; it's not your fault."

Jūshirō trembled as he looked down at his hands. He whimpered as a familiar voice entered his mind.

_What did I tell you about breakfast, Jūshirō? You don't deserve to eat the food off _our _table! If I ever catch you eating breakfast again, I'll make you vomit it back up and then cut you again!_

"I'm sorry…" Jūshirō whispered again as he fell into his depression once more.

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui moved to sit in front of Jūshirō again, wary of the vomit that had sprayed everywhere. "Jūshirō, can you tell me what happened? Are you having more withdrawals?"

Jūshirō shook his head. Tears streamed down his face as he struggled to trust Shunsui to not hurt him. "…I…"

"Juu…" Shunsui ever-so-carefully reached out and placed his palm on the smaller man's cheek like he had done previously. He ignored the specks of vomit underneath his hand, knowing that Jūshirō needed comfort. "Juu, I promise I'm not mad. I'm only worried. I'm worried about if you're okay. Can you trust me enough to tell me what happened, please? I just want to help."

Jūshirō shuddered at these words. He was trying so hard to block out memories, but they overwhelmed him, not wanting him to forget – like they always did.

_Jūshirō was scared as he crossed the hall into the kitchen. He knew if he was caught out of his room and getting into the cupboards, his dad would be angry, but he was so _hungry. _His stomach rumbled as he pulled open the pantry door as quietly as he could, but the hinge squeaked loudly. _

_Jūshirō gulped and glanced at the hallway as thunderous footsteps made their way towards him. Soon enough, his father's hand was wrapped around his throat, pinning him against the wall. Jūshirō whimpered but he knew it was best to stay where he was lest he make his father angrier than he already was._

"_No _fag _is going to be contaminating _our _food with its filthy hands!" The black-haired man, Hidoi, snarled as he tightened his grip on his son's throat. "Don't you _dare _think you can do what you want in this house! Your brothers and sisters would never choose such a disgusting lifestyle, so don't you _dare _infect them with your filthiness!"_

_Tears streamed down Jūshirō's face as he struggled to breathe. He was sure that if his incurable – yet non-contagious – Tuberculosis didn't make breathing an already hard task, he would have passed out from lack of oxygen. _

"_Daddy…?"_

_Jūshirō looked behind his father as his youngest siblings – his twin sisters – looked on in fright. They were only four, but they loved their twelve-year-old brother. Jūshirō was their oldest sibling out of eight children and he took care of them all, but they didn't understand why their father hated him. _

"_Go back to your room, sweeties," Hidoi said in a soft tone as he looked at his only daughters. "Daddy is busy with your brother."_

_The twins left in uncertainty, not wanting to see their beloved brother get hurt again. They were unaware of the fact that with their worry, they had caused more trouble for Jūshirō._

"_You see that?" Hidoi snarled as he threw Jūshirō into the table. He smirked at the cry of pain he was presented with and kicked the boy in the ribs. "Your little sisters are worried over some _faggot. _Did you forget the fact that you're not to be eating breakfast? I've told you time and time again – perhaps if I starve you for long enough, your fucking disgusting illness will kill you sooner than the Tuberculosis will. I'd kill you right now but I'm not gonna sit my ass in a jail cell because of_ you."

_Jūshirō sobbed. He curled up into a ball, knowing that his father wasn't finished yet. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Father! Please! Forgive me!"_

"_Forgive you?" Hidoi laughed. It was cold, unforgiving and, as it always did, sent chills down Jūshirō's spine. He leant down next to his son and reached out, ripping the small boy's pants down from his hips. "Now why on Earth would I forgive you when you present me with such enjoyment? I figure that if this happens to you often enough, it will make you change your mind about being gay."_

"_N-no…" Jūshirō whimpered as a cold hand grabbed at his flaccid member, knowing what was coming. "P-please, don't!"_

"_Why?" Hidoi mocked as he squeezed tightly. "You like boys, don't you, Jūshirō? You liked it when your teacher shoved his cock down your throat, didn't you? You liked it when he bent you over his desk and fucked you until you bled. You touched him back, didn't you? You loved it; I know you did."_

_Jūshirō sobbed at what his father was saying. He hadn't wanted that – he had been seven_, _and he didn't understand what was happening during that time! It had hurt him…! He… H-he had_ hated _it! But ever since then… His father had changed towards him. He abused him and did things to him he didn't like. He let his friends come over and do what his school teacher had forced him to do. _

_This wasn't the Hidoi Jūshirō_ _used to curl up on and fall asleep, or hide behind in shyness when he met new people. This man… was a monster, and only to _him.

**-XX-**

Tōshirō had stayed silent as he watched Shunsui try and console Jūshirō. He felt sad knowing that Jūshirō was hurting. He wished he could help, but he didn't know what he could do; he suffered pain himself, but he couldn't understand how much someone had to hurt to be able to hurt themselves. Maybe it was best if he let Shunsui handle it because the brunet understood the kind of pain that he couldn't.

_I wonder what happened to make them like this? _Tōshirō thought to himself. _When I asked Rangiku, she said I wouldn't be able to understand. I wonder if they went through what I did? Maybe I was really little at the time, but I still remember… what _they _did to me…_

Tōshirō broke out of his thoughts as he watched Shunsui help Jūshirō to his feet and into the hallway. He stood up and followed them, seeing the Kyōraku take Ukitake into the bathroom.

"A warm shower will do you wonders," Tōshirō heard Shunsui say as he peeked around the corner of the doorway. "I still have my girlfriend's shampoo and conditioner, so you can wash your hair while you're here, as well. I notice it's a bit… well, not as clean as it could be. Does that sound nice?"

Tōshirō saw Jūshirō nod hesitantly, and he smiled when the Ukitake accepted the two bottles he was handed without question.

"I'll go and get you some clean clothes that you can borrow, so we'll wait for the water to warm up before you get ready to step in, okay?" Shunsui knew he had to be considerate of the fact that Jūshirō's life revolved around unwanted sex, so he was doing his best to avoid making the smaller male feel uncomfortable.

Tōshirō watched as Shunsui left the bathroom. He followed his elder into the brunet's bedroom and sat on the bed as he watched Kyōraku pull through his clothes in search of something for Jūshirō.

"Is Jūshirō okay?" Tōshirō asked in a small voice.

Shunsui looked over his shoulder and smiled. "I'm sure he will be, Shiro-chan. I'm sure Jūshirō is strong."

Tōshirō nodded. He glanced at his guardian's scarred arms briefly, unable to understand why someone could willingly hurt themselves.

"…Shunsui…?" Tōshirō glanced away, not sure if he should voice his question or not, knowing that Shunsui didn't like to talk about his past. "…Can I ask you something…?"

"Of course you can." Shunsui smiled as he draped a blue Hawaiian shirt and black jeans over his shoulder. "Just let me give these to Jūshirō and then we'll talk, okay?"

Tōshirō nodded. He waited on the bed patiently as Shunsui left, knowing that the Kyōraku was someone who never went back on his word. He was silent until the bed dipped beside him underneath Shunsui's weight.

"What's bothering you, Shiro-chan?" Shunsui asked as he pulled Tōshirō onto his lap.

"…I don't understand…" Tōshirō whispered, not quite sure how to start off his question, but wanting desperately to comprehend why someone could hurt themselves. "…H-how much pain does one have to suffer in order to… to _hurt _themselves…?"

Shunsui tensed before he rubbed the boy's back in soothing circles. A sad smile crossed his face. "…I love how innocent you are, Shiro-chan… I really do… It's sad that you've been around a lot of people with self-inflicted wounds when you're so young… But you know, everyone's different, Tōshirō. Sometimes… You suffer so much, you can't see any other way out of your situation. You want the pain to stop. You just… You want to feel _something… _instead of the numbness. The worst kind of pain there is, in my opinion… is feeling so lost and alone, all you can hold onto is your suffering…"

"Is that what lead you to hurting yourself?" Tōshirō whispered with wide eyes.

Shunsui shrugged. "I didn't have the best upbringing… I spent the majority of my life depressed, unable to feel… _anything, _really. I was always so lonely… so scared… and I hid it all behind an act of hatred and anger… But the saddest thing is, Tōshirō… that in trying to fool others in order to protect myself… I deceived myself into believing that that was the kind of person I was…"

Tōshirō glanced down at his lap. "…I…"

Shunsui sighed as he glanced down at his wrists. "…I started cutting when I was fourteen… I really only stopped completely last year… I'm twenty-nine now, so you can imagine…"

"…Shunsui? Does everyone cut because they're lonely or sad?"

"Not always… Some people are strong, Tōshirō. They move forward; they want to overcome their suffering. Other people, like myself, do silly things like this to keep themselves alive. And others… Some people give up completely… They destroy themselves; they do drugs, they turn into alcoholics, they sell their bodies, and they may even hurt other people… And then… there are the people who can't handle such pain and the only way out they can see is suicide… And Tōshirō… When people want to kill themselves… I hope that's the kind of suffering you'll never understand… You feel so empty; so alone… You just can't possibly keep moving forward… You just sit there… in your pain… and all you want is for someone to notice – for someone to _care… _ You just want someone to understand how you feel; for someone to be like you and know what you're going through…"

Tōshirō's eyes welled up with tears. He twisted around on Shunsui's lap and grabbed the elder's shirt in his tiny hands. "…Is that why you tried to kill yourself before you met Ise-san…?"

Shunsui nodded. "Yes… She looked past all my silly habits… She saw my scars, knew that I did drugs and alcohol… And yet, she didn't judge me… She saw the story behind me… She _cared… _ She gave up everything to help me… And, unlike everyone else in my life, she kept her promise of never giving up on me… When others thought I was beyond help… When they got sick of trying… they left… They told me they'd never give up on me… but I haven't heard from them in so long… I honestly have no idea if they are even _alive…"_

"I'm sorry…" Tōshirō whispered.

"Don't be." Shunsui smiled at the boy. "It's not your fault. …But then… There are people like Jūshirō out there who don't_ have_ anyone… He's never said it directly, but I can tell he's all alone in this huge world… He's so much like I was, back then… He's scared and lonely, and I _know_ he just wants someone to _care_ about him… But I think he's suffered so much and for so long, he can't _trust _people to genuinely care about him… That's why… I don't want him to be alone any longer… No matter how hard it is, or how long it takes, I'm going to show him that this world really isn't bad as he thinks it is. I'm going to show him that there are people out there who will care about him and accept him for who he is. I'll help him out of the life he's living as long as he will trust me enough to let me, and I'll give him my unconditional support. …Because, when I look into his eyes, all I can see is a suffering so like my own… And if Nanao hadn't been there for me, I wouldn't be here with you right now, Shiro-chan…"

Tōshirō snuggled in closer. "…You really care about him, don't you?"

"Of course I care, Tōshirō… I understand how he feels. And as long as I can understand where he's coming from, I _know _I can help him… Because, in this world, the only meaning of life I can think of is that, before you leave this world, you have to make it a better place – even if it's just one person's life."


	7. Chapter 7

Shunsui could tell that Jūshirō was reluctant to come back into the living room after his shower. The man was hesitating at the doorway, picking at the sleeves of Shunsui's shirt. He was sure that the smaller man was afraid he would be yelled at for having thrown up.

Kyōraku smiled and gestured for Jūshirō to come into the living room. He patted the couch in an inviting manner and smiled when Ukitake slowly made his way over.

"Do you feel better?" Shunsui asked as Jūshirō sat reluctantly on the other end of the couch.

Jūshirō nodded. His fiddling with the shirt increased tenfold as he raked nervous eyes over Shunsui's body. "…A-are you sure… you don't want me to… thank you…?"

"I'm positive, Jūshirō," Shunsui reassured. "If you really want to thank me, just say it."

Jūshirō whimpered and glanced at his lap. How could he tell the other that the only way he had been raised to say thank you was through sexual intimacy…?

"Do you want a hairbrush to brush your hair?" Shunsui offered. "It will tangle otherwise."

Jūshirō nodded again, avoiding eye-contact. He flinched when Shunsui stood up from the couch and disappeared down the hallway. He glanced at the television, not having watched one since his early childhood. He tilted his head at the program Tōshirō was clearly absorbed in. It looked like one of those old anime programs that his siblings used to watch – not that he'd know for sure, because he had been banned from the television for life and got a beating if he tried to watch it.

"…What are you watching…?" Jūshirō asked the boy warily.

"Dragon Century," Tōshirō replied without taking his eyes off the TV screen.

"Tōshirō loves dragons."

Jūshirō jumped as Shunsui's voice sounded from behind him. He spun around with wide eyes, only relaxing again when he saw the brunet standing behind the couch with a hairbrush in hand.

"I'm sorry," Shunsui said softly. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Jūshirō shook his head; he would never get used to being the one getting apologies. "It's okay…"

"Here's the hairbrush." Shunsui handed the little item over and took his place back down on the couch. "It was Nanao's, but I kept all of her things."

Tōshirō glanced behind him once his anime had finished. He smiled at the sight of Jūshirō running a brush through his long hair. He stood up and bounded over.

"Can I brush your hair for you?" Tōshirō asked, his conversation with Shunsui still fresh in his mind. He didn't know how he could help, but he was sure that maybe if he did little things for the Ukitake, Jūshirō would come to understand that he has someone who cares.

Jūshirō flinched at the offer before he reminded himself that this was just Tōshirō and was still a child. He nodded hesitantly as he warily held his hand out, offering the brush to the other male. Shunsui watched carefully, knowing that Jūshirō could startle very easily and without much provocation.

When hands touched his scalp, Jūshirō shuddered at the feeling. Usually when someone had hold of his hair, it was to cause pain during rough sex. But Tōshirō's hands were tiny… and they were so gentle, running his little fingers through the strands slowly as he gathered up hair.

"I'll be very gentle, Jūshirō," Tōshirō reassured as he raised the brush.

Shunsui raised an eyebrow when Jūshirō flinched again at these words, hoping they hadn't caused a negative reaction; he knew that such sentences were probably associated with sex in Jūshirō's mind. He didn't take his eyes off the two males, seeing the way Jūshirō tensed more and more with each passing second until tears eventually ran down pale cheeks.

"Tōshirō-kun?" Shunsui called, knowing that it would be best to remove Tōshirō for a while until Jūshirō calmed down. He frowned when the child looked at him, not wanting to pull him away when he was clearly only trying to help out. "Jūshirō would appreciate it if you give him some space for now, okay?"

Tōshirō pouted, but did as he was told anyway. He came to Shunsui's side, a confused expression on his face, silently asking what he had done wrong.

"Tōshirō-kun, I know you were only trying to help, but when you said you'd be… well, _gentle _with Jūshirō, his past experiences have automatically linked such phrases to things he doesn't like. Neither you, nor Jūshirō, did anything wrong; it was bad people in Jūshirō's life who have hurt him, okay? He just needs some space so he can relax."

Jūshirō was listening carefully to Shunsui's words. He didn't understand how Shunsui knew so much about how he felt just then, but he was relieved to know that _someone _understood him. He reached up and wiped at his tears.

"I-I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun… Kyōraku-san…" was Jūshirō's timid reply.

Shunsui frowned; it was the first time Jūshirō had used either of their names, but he didn't want the man to be so formal with them; he wanted Jūshirō to think of them as friends.

"You can call us Shunsui and Tōshirō, Juu." Shunsui smiled. "And please, don't apologise; as I said before, you did nothing wrong."

Jūshirō nodded. He willed himself to relax, wanting to bask in the soothing aura he felt around the two males. He looked back at Tōshirō.

"…You may… continue, if you want… T-toshi…ro…" Jūshirō whispered, such informalities unknown on his tongue.

Tōshirō smiled. He approached Jūshirō slowly like he had watched Shunsui do so all this time and was careful as he sat beside the white-haired male. Jūshirō took a deep breath as he turned to the side so that the child had easy access to his hair.

Shunsui smiled as Tōshirō made the first stroke. Jūshirō was tense again, but nothing less could have been expected. His hopes for Jūshirō's recovery soared as Ukitake's body relaxed and his eyes slipped closed, a content smile appearing on his face after just a few minutes.

Tōshirō was glad that Jūshirō liked this; he liked having his hair played with, too. The hair beneath his fingertips was silky, and much whiter than it had been every other time Tōshirō had seen him. Before, it looked more like a dirty grey but right now, it was as white as snow and just beautiful to look at it. It wasn't knotted and tangled anymore, either.

"Your hair is lovely." Tōshirō smiled as he made the final strokes through the silky hair.

Jūshirō nodded as his smile widened slightly. Shunsui grinned. He felt as if the smaller man wasn't as lost as everyone claimed and could still be helped – in fact, he knew that it was true deep down in his heart.

Shunsui chuckled when a small whine escaped Jūshirō's lips once Tōshirō got off the couch. He laughed again when a small blush coated the man's cheeks. Yes; Jūshirō could definitely be salvaged.

**-XX-**

The day had passed by without much incident. Despite the withdrawals Jūshirō suffered, he had pushed through, wanting to stay with Shunsui and Tōshirō. After accidentally snapping at the brunet and then breaking down in the fear of losing the man for good, he was relieved to hear that Shunsui understood how hard withdrawals were and that it was okay to go through it.

Currently, Jūshirō was fast asleep on the couch, trying to catch up on lost rest while Tōshirō read a book and Shunsui watched the TV. Things were peaceful, but the tranquil setting was about to be disturbed by a loud banging on the door.

Jūshirō woke up with a startled cry and threw himself off the couch. He ran around the living room as if the devil was after him, tears streaming down his face. Shunsui knew better than to chase after him, knowing that the man probably wasn't in his right mind and would eventually find a hiding place on his own, and that it would make things worse for him if he were bothered.

Shunsui waited until Jūshirō was tucked firmly between the wall and the bookshelf, small sobs the only indicator of his presence, before he opened the door. When he did, he was greeted by an angry Rangiku and Gin.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Rangiku shouted as she stepped into the apartment with her partner behind her. "You _know _we don't want Tōshirō around people like _him!"_

Shunsui raised an eyebrow. "W-what?"

"Byakuya called us an' told us ev'rything," Gin explained, his trademark smile on his face, but his eyes were half-lidded, a sign of annoyance. "We trusted ya with Shiro-chan but yer gone an' socialised him with drug addicts."

Shunsui raised his hands in defence. "Wait just a minute! Tōshirō-kun is _fine! _You know I'd never do anything that could hurt him!"

"You brought a prostitute into your home while you're caring for a _child!"_ Rangiku snarled. "Much less _our _child! You _know _why we try and keep him away from people like _that!"_

"Rangiku-chan, I completely understand, but –" Rangiku but the brunet off.

"No! Don't you _dare _try and tell me that everything's fine! Don't you remember how Tōshirō was when we brought him home for the first time?!"

"Rangiku-chan, o-of course I do!" Shunsui knew where this was going, and he didn't like it.

"He was terrified of everyone!" Rangiku yelled. "He thought we were going to hurt him! Why?! Because his drug-addicted parents thought it would be fun to throw him out of a moving car and reverse over him! I don't ever want him to have to feel that kind of pain and fear again!"

"Jūshirō isn't _like _them!" Shunsui tried to defend. "If you would just take the time to get to know him…!"

"I'm not going near him, and neither is Tōshirō!" Rangiku growled.

Gin moved further into the apartment, heading towards the boy sitting on the couch and crying softly at the arguing. He leant down and pulled Tōshirō into a hug, gently comforting him with words.

"Are ya okay, Shiro-chan?" Gin whispered as he rocked his foster-child side to side slowly. "Did Jūshirō hurt ya?"

Tōshirō shook his head. He clung to Gin, frightened by the fighting. "N-no… J-jushiro is very nice…"

"Did he try an' touch ya down there…?" Gin whispered tenderly as he held the boy closer to him with such a thought.

"N-no…"

"Promise?" Gin rested his chin on the white hair, worried greatly about his precious Tōshirō. "Ya know we'll still love ya no matter what. We'll und'stand it wasn't yer fault if he touched ya down there."

Tōshirō nodded. "I promise, Gin…"

Gin let out the breath he had been holding; he trusted Tōshirō to not lie to him about such an important matter. He stood up, carrying Tōshirō back to Rangiku.

"He's 'kay, Ran…" Gin mumbled.

Rangiku, however, was not pleased by this. "It still doesn't change the fact that Shunsui was harbouring someone like Jūshirō in his home while caring for Tōshirō!"

"Please, calm down, Ran… I know yer upset, but yer scarin' Shiro-chan…"

"Is he here, Shunsui?" Rangiku asked, trying her best to control her anger lest she upset her precious Tōshirō more than he already was.

"He is, but he's scared and gone into hiding himself," Shunsui tried to explain. "He's very… _sensitive, _Rangiku-chan… You scared him when you were banging on the door like a madman."

"I want to talk to him." Rangiku's eyes narrowed when Shunsui opened his mouth to object. "No, Shunsui! You had him around my child and could have gotten Shiro-chan _molested_ because of it!"

Shunsui sighed. He was silent for a few seconds as he tried to figure out what he could do. He glanced at Jūshirō's hiding place, not hearing the small sobs any longer.

"…Please, let me speak to him first…" Shunsui whispered. "He's so scared…"

Rangiku sighed irritably but didn't object. She instead moved her focus onto Tōshirō, checking him over for marks that could have come from the Ukitake.

"Jūshirō…?" Shunsui was very careful as he approached Jūshirō's hiding place. He knelt down, hoping that he would be less intimidating if he made himself look smaller to the crouching male.

Jūshirō was watching with wide eyes, quivering. His face was red and stained with tears, following the brunet's every move. "…K-kyoraku-san…?"

Shunsui couldn't help but smile sadly. "It's Shunsui… Remember? I'm so sorry for my friend acting how she did, but she was just scared for Tōshirō. Can you understand that?"

Jūshirō shook his head. "…N-no…"

Shunsui sat down before the male and crossed his legs. "Rangiku and Gin love Tōshirō very much, and they worry about him. They don't trust him with strangers because they're afraid of someone hurting Tōshirō. Is that easier to understand?"

Jūshirō nodded hesitantly. "…T-they… They hate me…"

Shunsui bit his lip. He didn't want to lie to Jūshirō, but… "…They're just uncertain about you, Jūshirō. Is it okay if they talk to you?"

Jūshirō whimpered and shook his head, horror crossing his face. He tried to scoot backwards but only ended up slamming his back against the wall.

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui sighed softly. "What if I sit here with you? Will that be okay?"

Jūshirō's eyes darted back and forth between Jūshirō and the two strangers. While it was true Shunsui had gone above and beyond as he always did by defending him against the two, they seemed pretty angry at him, and he couldn't understand why. Was it because he was a prostitute? That wasn't his fault; his father had started selling him on his thirteenth birthday and it was all he knew. Could it be because he did drugs? Of _course _he did drugs; no one could go through what he did and _not _want to try and numb the pain!

"…Will you…" Jūshirō whispered, his voice quivering in terror. "…not let them… hurt me…?"

"You have my word, Jūshirō," Shunsui promised. "I'll even let you hold my hand if it will make you feel better."

Jūshirō eyed the hand that was put out before him warily. He glanced back at the other two seemingly-angry adults, not wanting anything to do with them, but he was sure that Shunsui would get yelled at again if he didn't do it. He didn't want Shunsui to get yelled at because the Kyōraku might get hurt otherwise.

"…Y-you won't…" Jūshirō gulped, wanting so much to be able to trust Shunsui. "…hurt m-me…?"

"I would never hurt you, Jūshirō." Shunsui smiled. "And I won't let someone else hurt you, either – not at as long as I can be there to help it. And I'm here with you now, aren't I?"

Jūshirō gulped as he nodded. He flinched as Shunsui reached out and gently took his hand, but he didn't resist when he was pulled out from his hiding place. He walked on weak legs as he clung to Shunsui's brown shirt, crying again at the thought of having to face such cruel people.

"Rangiku-chan, Gin-kun…" Shunsui gestured behind him as he ever-so-gently sat Jūshirō down on the couch. "…This is Jūshirō. As I said before, he's very sensitive, so please, don't raise your voices at him…"

Rangiku took a deep breath as she sat on the floor in front of the couch. She sent a hard glare at Jūshirō until her foster child leant over from Gin's lap and tugged at her shirt.

"What is it, sweetness?" Rangiku asked as she kissed Tōshirō's cheek.

"Please don't be mad with Jūshirō…" Tōshirō whispered, his bright green eyes wide. "Jūshirō is so very nice… but he hurts inside… Shunsui explained it to me…"

Rangiku sighed. She closed her eyes as she turned back to the trembling man clutching Shunsui's shirt in a death-grip. She wondered why he was wearing the brunet's clothing but decided not to question it.

"First thing first…" Rangiku tried her best to be calm with the white-haired man, not wanting to upset Tōshirō. "…Why are you here? What is your relationship with Shunsui?"

Jūshirō stared back with wide eyes. He didn't understand how he was meant to answer those questions. He pulled at his sleeves, crying silently as hot tears ran down his cheeks.

"Answer me…" Rangiku's patience was growing thing.

Gin reached out and placed a hand on his partner's shoulder. He shook his head silently and gestured to Tōshirō.

"Ya shouldn't be scared o' Rangiku, Ukitake-san." Gin sent a smile to Jūshirō, not happy about the situation but knowing he could control his emotions better than Rangiku. "She wouldn't hurt ya. She acts tough, but she's not."

Rangiku raised a hand, ready to slap the back of Gin's head, but she stopped dead in her tracks when a loud, piercing scream from Jūshirō made everyone jump.

The man's eyes were wide as he screamed again. He scratched at his arms, his nails digging through the bandages and drawing blood.

Shunsui jumped away from Jūshirō, not sure what he could do other than give him space. He looked into those eyes, heartbroken to see a faraway look in them.

"Jūshirō…!" Shunsui called, hoping his voice would be enough to bring Jūshirō out of his daze, but not only was the Ukitake unseeing, but he was unhearing.

With one final, ear-splitting scream, Jūshirō collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit, blood spraying everywhere from the force of the coughs.

Shunsui grabbed his phone out of his pocket when Jūshirō lost consciousness, covered in blood. He dialled an ambulance, sending a panicked look at his two friends.

"He's… never done this before!" Shunsui gasped out. "…I didn't know he was sick…!"

Rangiku was in too much shock to reply back. Tōshirō was sobbing into Gin's shirt as the silver-haired male stared at Jūshirō, a prominent frown on his face. Gin was smart – no, he was more than smart; he had been considered a child genius, just like his precious Tōshirō. It took him less a second to piece together the puzzle; Ukitake Jūshirō had been abused.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I found parts of this chapter very difficult to write. Personally, I don't much like the way parts of it are written but, as I said, it was very difficult to get it perfect. I apologise if this chapter is not up to standards.**

**Also, there are small bits of yaoi, but nothing too bad.**

"_You know, I was wondering…" Shunsui frowned as he stopped talking. _

_Nanao, who had been walking out of the movie theatre with Shunsui, turned to face him. "What is it?"_

"…_Well…" Shunsui rubbed the back of his head as he thought over his words. "…It's just… I was wondering if… perhaps you'd want to…"_

_Nanao waited patiently for her friend to speak. She knew it wouldn't do any good to rush him when he was so clearly trying to perfect what he wanted to say._

"…_Perhaps you'd want to do this again sometime…?" Shunsui said, looking at his feet. "…You know…? As a date… perhaps…?"_

_Nanao smiled. She slipped her hand into the large one before she stepped closer. "I would love that, Shunsui."_

_A huge grin graced Shunsui's face. He squeezed the petite hand in his, happy beyond belief. This woman, who had come across him passed out in a park at night and brought him back to the waking world with a slap to the head with her book, had stayed with him for four years and wanted to date him. _

"_I love you, Nanao-chan~" Shunsui smiled as he leant down and kissed the girl's forehead as he was so accustomed to doing, but this time he allowed his lips to linger._

_Nanao smiled. She couldn't say those words so early on in a relationship, but they both knew that it was what she felt._

_Their relationship had lasted five years and was still going strong until Nanao's untimely death. They had tried again and again for a child, but it had never happened. Even during their little arguments and the smacks across the head Nanao would give Shunsui with a heavy book, their love for each other never wavered. _

_As Shunsui kissed his lover passionately, slipping himself inside her like he did every other night, he was content. He slipped his fingers into the silky black hair, pulling out the clip she used to hold her hair up. His digits raked through it gently as he kissed Nanao once again. He didn't realise the way the ink-black hair suddenly grew longer and the colour faded, until a long mane of snow- white hair was splayed out on the pillow, replacing the midnight colour that had once been present._

_Shunsui was confused by this. He looked down at his lover's face, unable to believe what he was seeing. Nanao's glasses were gone and her thin, perfectly manicured eyebrows were thickening, becoming larger than they should have been. The eyes changed next. Losing the blue, purple-tinted colour they originally had, they were now a bright green colour. Nanao's lips became slightly larger, and her jawbones narrowed in. _

_Shunsui's gaze travelled down further. The breasts he had been holding just minutes ago were gone, and her stomach caved in in a sickening manner that was not like Nanao at all. _

_Shunsui couldn't bring himself to look down further, terrified about what he would see but, deep down, he already knew what had happened. _

"_J-jushiro…?" Shunsui whispered in horror. He tried to pull away from the frail body beneath his, only to find that he couldn't move._

"_You love me, don't you?" Jūshirō's soft voice whispered in what Shunsui knew was desperation. "You're so scared I'm going to die. …Right? You… You care, unlike everyone else… Don't you…?"_

"_Jūshirō, you're my friend…" Shunsui struggled harder to get away, but Jūshirō had reached out and grabbed his arm, keeping him where he was. "…Please… Of course I care, but let me go…!"_

"_Don't leave me…" Jūshirō pleaded. "…Please… L-love me… Show me what love is…" _

"_T-this isn't right!" Shunsui gasped as he started to thrash. "I… I-I'm not gay! Let go of me, Jūshirō!"_

_Jūshirō leant up and kissed the soft lips before him. "I need you… I need you to love me… You're the only one who can help me… Shunsui… Please… Show me that people can love me and not just my body… I'm begging you… Please, you're different from the rest…"_

_Shunsui stared into the green eyes underneath him. He could see the pain in them, the need to be _loved, _but Shunsui felt as if he couldn't give Jūshirō what he needed. He was horrified by what was happening, and he wanted no part in it._

"_Let me go!" Shunsui shouted. "I had a girlfriend! I'm not gay! I'm _not!"

"_I'm begging you…" A single tear slid down Jūshirō's pale cheek. "…Teach me what it means to be loved…"_

_With that said, Jūshirō leant up and crushed their lips together once again. He pressed forward when he felt Shunsui struggle and pull away but, eventually, Shunsui relented to Jūshirō's actions. _

Shunsui's eyes opened slowly, bringing him out of his sleep. He lifted his head from the hospital bed and glanced at Jūshirō. His heart stopped to see the green eyes staring at him, reminding him of his dream.

"You're finally awake…" Shunsui mumbled as he rubbed drool from his chin. "You've been out for three days. I'm so glad you're awake."

"…You…" Jūshirō whispered. He shifted uneasily. "…You stayed with me…?"

"Of course I did." Shunsui offered a small smile to his friend. "Why wouldn't I have?"

"…" Jūshirō looked away. "…Because no one's ever been so… nice to me before… Or even taken time out… of their day for me… Not like this…"

"I'm your friend, Jūshirō." Shunsui reached out and grabbed the white-haired man's hand. He understood the whimper he was rewarded with and didn't comment on it. "I'm your friend, so of course I'm going to do things like this for you. I care about you very much."

"…" Jūshirō diverted his gaze, unable to think of how he could reply to those words.

Shunsui didn't expect a reply, so he didn't let Jūshirō's silence faze him. Besides, he had something he had to take care of.

"Juu?" Shunsui reached out, ever-so-slowly introducing his hand to Jūshirō's face as he brushed hair out of the man's eyes. "I really want to apologise for the way my friends acted around you. I understand that Rangiku having raised her hand like she did was enough to frighten you, but I just want you to know that she wasn't going to hurt you."

"…" Jūshirō's lip quivered as he turned to face Shunsui with wide eyes. "…I-I know, but… S-she was… going to hurt… your other friend…"

Shunsui smiled sadly. He shook his head. "This may be hard to believe, Juu, but I promise you Rangiku was not going to hurt Gin."

"S-she…" Jūshirō's eyes flashed with fear, making Shunsui worried he was going to trigger again. "…She raised… her hand…"

"Jūshirō…" Shunsui gripped the pale man's hand tight in both of his. "…Jūshirō, there are a lot of people out there who will raise their hand with the intent of hurting someone, but then there are people like Rangiku who will raise their hand and playfully tap someone. Do you understand?"

Jūshirō shook his head. "…How can you… playfully hit someone…?"

"Well…" Shunsui tapped his chin as he thought about how to explain it. He glanced at the spare chair next to him and pulled it forward. "See this chair? Let's pretend it's another person. If I were going to hit that person playfully, I'd do this."

Jūshirō flinched as Shunsui raised his hand at the chair before he brought his hand down in controlled speed, tapping the chair lightly.

"…I-it doesn't…" Jūshirō gulped. "…It doesn't hurt the other person…?"

"No." Shunsui smiled. "It's a lot like me holding your hand right now. You can feel it, but it doesn't cause you physical discomfort, does it?"

Jūshirō shook his head. "…It… feels… n-nice…"

Shunsui smiled. "I'm so glad to hear it. I'm going to find your nurse and tell them that you're awake, okay? I promise you I'll come back, but I've got to get some food into me before I fade away into a shadow."

Jūshirō giggled, a sound so soft, Shunsui knew he wouldn't have heard it had he not been listening closely. With a huge smile on his face, Shunsui went in search of Jūshirō's nurse.

**-XX-**

Shunsui knew he couldn't have expected Jūshirō to have perfect health after living as he had. But after having personally requested for Jūshirō to be tested for STDs and the likes, he was glad to hear that the only thing wrong with Ukitake's health was that he had incurable Tuberculosis.

As Shunsui sat at a table in the dining area of the hospital, munching away on a pie, he thought about what he could do for Jūshirō. Well, he certainly didn't want the man to be back on the streets after hearing that he had to deal with such a cruel sickness; Winter was approaching, and the nights were awfully cold which would surely make things worse for Jūshirō.

Maybe Jūshirō would consider living with him? Maybe. They had certainly come very far together, after all.

**-XX-**

Tōshirō glanced down at his bowl of cereal with a frown on his face. He couldn't help but miss Shunsui and Jūshirō. He had tried to talk to Rangiku and ask if he could go and visit Jūshirō, but she had been adamant in him staying away from the Ukitake.

"Are you going to eat, Izuru?"

Tōshirō looked up at Rangiku's voice. Their family friend, Kira Izuru, had been released from the hospital the same day Jūshirō had been admitted, and was staying with them until his depression was controlled once again.

"I'm not hungry…" Izuru mumbled.

"Maa, maa, Izuru," Gin said as he moved to stand beside Tōshirō. "Ya should eat or yer never gonna get yer strength back."

Izuru stayed quiet, looking down at his bandaged wrists. Tōshirō knew that the blond male wasn't supposed to be unsupervised because of this.

"Gin?" Tōshirō asked as he tilted his head backwards to look up at the silver-haired man.

"Hmm?" Gin looked down at the boy.

Tōshirō knew Rangiku was busy trying to talk to Izuru, so he spoke in a whisper. "…Can I… see Jūshirō?"

Gin sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Yare yare… Yer gonn' get me inta trouble, Shiro-chan…"

"Please?" Tōshirō knew Gin could never resist his puppy-dog eyes. "I won't tell Rangiku."

Gin sighed before he sent a soft smile down at his foster-child. "A'ight, but if Rangiku skins me alive, it's yer fault."

Tōshirō laughed. He stood up and wrapped his arms around the thin man's waist. "Thanks, Gin."

Gin patted the boy's hair softly as he got Rangiku's attention. "Ne, Ran? I'm takin' Shiro-chan ta look fer a' book he wanted."

"Alright." Rangiku smiled brightly at her family. "Have fun."

Gin went to Izuru's side and hugged him tightly before he grabbed the car keys off the bench and took Tōshirō's hand in his own.

"You do realise that we're going to have to come back with a book now, right?" Tōshirō said as he got into the car.

Gin laughed. "That's true."

"…Gin?" Tōshirō looked up at the silver-haired male as Gin reversed the car out of the driveway. "…I thought you didn't want me near Jūshirō?"

Gin shrugged. "Don't tell Ran. I don't partic'ly like the idea myself, but I guess yer gotta do what yer gotta do."

**-XX-**

When Gin and Tōshirō walked into Jūshirō's hospital room twenty minutes later, they couldn't help but smile at the sight of Shunsui sitting on the bed with a sleeping Jūshirō resting his head in the brunet's lap.

"Gin…" Shunsui breathed; he had been sure Gin would come back like this. "…What are you doing here?"

"Shiro-chan wanted ta visit 'im," Gin explained as he moved to sit on the chair Shunsui had occupied just a few minutes before. "How is he?"

Shunsui ran a hand through the white strands as he thought about Gin's question. "…He's doing well, I guess. The nurses said he has incurable Tuberculosis but it's non-contagious. He's apparently been here a lot when he was young because of it, but then when he was around six, he just… vanished, the nurse explained."

"Hmm…" Gin linked that information immediately to Jūshirō's abuse, wondering how this all connected. It sounded to him like at one point, Jūshirō's parents _did_ care. "Did ya get him tested?"

"Yeah. He's clean."

Tōshirō had been listening to their conversation as he moved to sit on the bed beside Shunsui. His tiny hand joined Shunsui's as it stroked soothingly through the white hair.

"He looks happy," Tōshirō said as he noticed the small smile on Jūshirō's face.

"He's gotten better," Shunsui said as he wrapped his free arm around the boy's shoulders. "He finally understands that I'm his friend."

As if hearing these words, Jūshirō's eyes fluttered open slowly. He looked up at Shunsui and then met Tōshirō's gaze, before he realised there was a third person in the room with him. He flinched and pulled away when he saw Gin in the room with them.

"Don't be scared," Shunsui said gently as he placed a hand on Jūshirō's shoulder. "Gin brought Tōshirō to see you."

Gin stood up and walked over to the bed. His calculating mind watched every tiny action Jūshirō made and fitted it in together with his pre-existing information. He stopped a small distance from the bed and held his hand out, his usual smile present beneath closed eyelids.

"Don't be scared," Shunsui soothed. "He wants to introduce himself to you. Just shake his hand, okay? He won't hurt you."

Jūshirō moved a trembling hand out to meet the silver-haired man's. He looked down at Shunsui's lap when he felt a large, bony hand grab his.

"I'm Gin," Gin said. "Ichimaru Gin. I've heard a' lot 'bout you from Shiro-chan. My apologies for our previous meetin' gettin' us off ta a' bad start."

Jūshirō looked away, not sure what to say. He chose to stay silent, pulling at the sleeves of his hospital gown. Shunsui reached over and grabbed the pale hand, holding it tightly.

"No need to be nervous," Shunsui whispered. "Gin won't hurt you, will he, Shiro-chan?"

Tōshirō shook his head. He smiled brightly. "No. Gin looks after his friend who's tried to kill himself a few times, so he understands."

Jūshirō's wary green eyes locked with Gin's bright blue ones hidden by his eyelids. "…"

"It's true." Gin shrugged. "My precious Izuru is depressed, so Ran an' I care fer 'im a lot o' the time."

Jūshirō felt relaxed by these words. If Gin had previous experience with someone like him, then surely he wouldn't be a jerk about it…

"Five more minutes, Shiro-chan," Gin said as he looked at his wristwatch. "We gotta come back with a' book, remember?"

Tōshirō nodded. Shunsui just smiled at Gin, glad to have the thin man on his side.

Once Jūshirō and Shunsui were all alone, a calm silence filled the room. Shunsui was just about asleep himself, but he was quickly brought back into reality when a small heat touched his lips. His eyes shot open and he was shocked to find that Jūshirō had kissed him.

"W-what was that for?!" Shunsui found himself gasping in horror, but struggling to keep his emotions calm for Jūshirō's sake; he knew that if he reacted negatively, it would make things worse for Jūshirō and, now that he had finally had a bit of emotional growth and took a huge leap forward, there was _no way _he could force Jūshirō to fall backwards.

Jūshirō recoiled and looked down at his lap, tugging incessantly at his hospital gown. Tears welled up in his eyes. "…I-I… I really love you, Kyo – Shunsui…"

Shunsui raised a hand to his lips, unable to believe this information. How could _Jūshirō _want _this _from him…? "D-do you mean love me romantically or in a friend way…?"

Jūshirō bit his lip as he started to cry. His body trembled and he started scratching at his uncovered wrists. "…I-I don't know… I have never had a friend before… or someone I feel comfortable enough to want to kiss them… How do I differentiate the feelings…?"

Shunsui sighed and pulled Jūshirō onto his lap. He didn't like the fact that Jūshirō wanted someone so intimate from him,_ knowing _that he could not return the man's feelings. "I understand. Both platonic love and romantic love are foreign to you… I don't know how to explain the difference to you, either…"

"…I want to kiss you…" Jūshirō's wet eyes were silently pleading Shunsui to allow him. "…Please… I-it… It doesn't… hurt me… It makes me feel… _safe, _and… _normal… _Please… I-I… I don't want to feel the pain any longer… Please…"

Shunsui felt nothing but turmoil. He had just lost Nanao, but… Jūshirō was clearly growing mentally… He reached up and grabbed his head, feeling an ache coming on.

"…Are you sure you want to be kissing me?" Shunsui asked in exasperation, not sure if Jūshirō was just confusing romantic love with friendship. "Do you, one-hundred per cent, want to be kissing me?"

Jūshirō nodded with wide eyes, causing Shunsui to frown. The brunet closed his eyes as he thought about his options. But what option did he have other than let Jūshirō in? They were both lonely and wanted someone to love them. But would Shunsui merely be using Jūshirō to quench his own pain…? Or was Jūshirō too neglected to understand what he really wanted…?

"…" Shunsui sighed as he nodded, relenting just as he had before in his dream. He noticed the strong emotion that shone in Jūshirō's eyes that had never been there before. Was it… love? Did Jūshirō… finally understand that he had someone who accepted him…?

**-XX-**

"I'm under the impression that Jūshirō is an abuse victim," Gin said to Tōshirō as said boy picked through books carefully. They were standing in the book section of their usual shopping haunt, trying to find a book to throw Rangiku off their tracks.

"I wasn't sure what to think," Tōshirō said as he put back the book he was holding in his hand. "Shunsui said Jūshirō has been through a lot, but I couldn't understand why he'd hurt himself."

"Def'nitely abused," Gin said as he pulled books out at random and placed them in different areas, messing up the carefully ordered shelves of books. "I'm leanin' towards unhappy-family-settin'-him-up-for-failure."

Tōshirō just shrugged. "I'm sure Shunsui will take care of him – will you stop that?!"

Heads turned at Tōshirō's shout, finding a tiny child berating a grown man that was pouting and mixing books up.

"But, Shiro-chan~" Gin whined as he pulled another book out. 'I'm _bored!"_

"No! Put it back this instant! And in its rightful place!"

People's eyes widened at the sight of a boy bossing an adult around. They watched as the man put the book back and ducked his head.

"I can't take you anywhere!" Tōshirō exclaimed. "You always get into mischief!"

Gin just pouted further and crossed his arms over his chest, unknowingly the centre of amusement for many of their fellow shoppers.


	9. Chapter 9

Jūshirō had been released from the hospital just a week later, and he had been excited about finally having a place to live in. When Shunsui had offered, he had automatically panicked before reminding himself that this was Shunsui and would not lie to him like that.

Currently, the white-haired male was sitting on the floor by the couch, reading a book he had found in Shunsui's bookcase. He was still adjusting to the kindness, and Shunsui understood that he would not heal overnight, no matter how much progress he was making.

Shunsui was in his bedroom, taking a nap, leaving Jūshirō to his own devices. He had been up half the night, trying to help his new boyfriend through the nightmares, leaving him with little sleep.

Jūshirō was content, having always loved to read but never having had a chance to do it. He was so absorbed in the literature that when an angry shout from their next door neighbours sounded, Jūshirō jumped and threw the book away with a small cry. He flinched and curled up into a ball, years of abuse making him sensitive to shouting.

"S-shunsui…!" Jūshirō whimpered once he came to terms with the fact that it wasn't _him _being yelled at. He stood up and ran into the brunet's bedroom, desperately seeking shelter from the fighting.

Shunsui awoke slowly to his shirt being pulled at and small whimpers of his name. He sat up and looked at Jūshirō, wondering what had set him off this time.

"What happened?" Shunsui asked as he opened his arms, inviting the younger man onto his lap. "Are you okay?"

Jūshirō buried his face in Shunsui's shoulder, trembling. He shook his head and, in a timid voice, whispered, "…F-fighting…"

"Oh…" Shunsui sighed. He knew that this would happen sooner or later; his neighbours fought constantly and they didn't care that they lived in an apartment complex with many other people around to hear them through the thin walls. "Juu, don't worry about them, okay? They always fight. They'll stop soon. I promise they won't hurt you."

Jūshirō whimpered and pressed himself closer to Shunsui. He could still hear the yelling and it scared him to no end. He clutched the brown vest shirt the Kyōraku was wearing, trying to draw in all the comfort he could get.

"You know what you need?" Shunsui whispered as he ran a hand through Jūshirō's white locks. Jūshirō moved away and raised his head, looking warily at Shunsui. He subconsciously gripped his fists tighter into the clothing as fright passed through him. "You need a puppy."

"A-a puppy…?" Jūshirō whispered, tilting his head. He shivered as another shout made itself known and pressed back against Shunsui.

The brunet nodded. "Yup. A puppy. Don't forget; I'm starting my new job next week, and I don't want you to be lonely. And puppies are very good for helping heal hearts."

A small smile crossed Jūshirō's lips. "…R-really…? You'd… get me a… p-puppy…?"

Shunsui nodded. He kissed Jūshirō's forehead. "I said I would, right? Let's go and get one."

Jūshirō's smile brightened slightly, but he fiddled with his jacket sleeves as he hesitated to get up. He looked down at the ground before he spoke again.

"…Umm…" Jūshirō licked his lips, avoiding eye contact as he spoke. "…C-can we… get one from a shelter…? Then we can… help each other…"

Shunsui smiled. "Of course we can. If we're quick about it, we can catch the next bus and then walk ten minutes."

Jūshirō nodded. He stood up and slipped his shoes on as he waited patiently for Shunsui to get ready. Five minutes later, the two were walking hand-in-hand out of their apartment and down the four flights of stairs to leave.

**-XX-**

Jūshirō hated buses, but he didn't want to argue with Shunsui. He knew that the Kyōraku didn't have a car, so he couldn't complain about taking public transport. But he really, _really _hated being in such small, crowded places. He was glad that they didn't have to stay on the bus for long and, whenever someone tried to sit near him or talk to him, Shunsui would gently explain that he needed space.

But now, as Jūshirō held Shunsui's hand as they looked at the puppies the rescue shelter had, he couldn't help but want them all.

"Look at this little guy, Juu," Shunsui called as he let go of the younger's hand and moved over to the side. He knelt before a small cage, smiling as a wet nose poked through the bars. "Isn't he cute?"

Jūshirō moved over and looked. He smiled at the puppy whining softly as it pawed at them in its cage. It was very skinny and its golden fur looked as if it had been shaved in places.

"He's cute…" Jūshirō whispered, wanting his voice to be heard only by Shunsui. "C-can you ask why… he's here…?"

Shunsui nodded as he stood up and turned to face the female rescue worker standing with them. "What happened to this puppy?"

"His owner neglected and abused him," the lady spoke softly. "He had serious injuries when we picked him up and we're certain that if we didn't get him when we did, he wouldn't be here."

Jūshirō frowned as he heard this. He stood up and tugged on Shunsui's sleeve, leaning in close to talk to him. "…Can… Can I get him…?"

"Are we able to take him home?" Shunsui asked.

The black-haired lady frowned. "Well, he's passed the behavioural tests. He's very sweet and loves to play, but he's also very timid, and he's not quite done with his recovery."

Jūshirō whimpered and tugged harder at the material in his hand.

Shunsui sent a reassuring smile at Jūshirō before he spoke again. "I think he's perfect for us, then. Juu wants a puppy he can help, you see? And he already seems much attached to the little guy."

"Well…"

"We'd take very good care of him." Shunsui flashed the woman a vibrant smile, hoping that his charms with the ladies weren't rusty. "I can assure you that. He'll grow up to be a fearless dog one day, as I'm sure you'd want for all of these abused animals in here."

Jūshirō looked down as the lady glanced at him. He tugged at his sleeve, biting his lip. He hoped the lady wouldn't want to talk to him directly.

"I think I can understand why you want him." The lady smiled back after a few seconds. "I understand. I'll go and get him ready for you. Would you kindly wait out at the desk for us?"

Shunsui smiled and nodded. "Thank you very much. Come on, Juu."

Jūshirō smiled as he took the brunet's hand and followed him out of the room. He was very happy, finally feeling as if there was a point to his suffering. Maybe now he could try and give a better life to another less fortunate being like himself.

"…I-I…" Jūshirō blushed as they sat down in the lobby they had been directed to. "…I would thank you, but you'd say no…"

Shunsui smiled and ran his hand through Jūshirō's hair. "You can show how grateful you are to someone without offering sexual favours, Juu. Just saying thank you is enough for most people, okay?"

Jūshirō nodded. He frowned as he tried to form the foreign words on his tongue. "…T-than…k… y-you…"

"See?" Shunsui clutched the pale hand in his own. "Isn't that a much better method of thanking someone?"

Jūshirō blushed again and nodded. "…I-I'm… I'm glad you… don't use my mouth..."

Shunsui just smiled again and squeezed the smaller hand.

They waited only for a few minutes before the lady who had shown them the puppies came out with the dog in her arms and paperwork in her hand.

"Just fill out these forms and he's all yours." The lady smiled as she held the puppy, tilting her head back to avoid the pink tongue that insisted on licking her cheek. "Oh, he's also a Golden Retriever, just in case you didn't know."

Shunsui smiled at the lady. "Thank you very much for doing this. You've made Juu very happy."

The lady smiled back. "What are you going to call him?"

"That's Juu's decision. What are you going to name him?"

"…Komamura," Jūshirō whispered to Shunsui, offering a nervous smile at the lady. He knew it would be rude of him to not offer her some acknowledgement after giving them the puppy.

"Komamura," Shunsui said to the rescue worker.

The lady returned Jūshirō's smile with her own, understanding that the man was damaged in a way. That was why she had handed over the pup after a bit of hesitation. Just minutes later, she handed over the squirming puppy to the white-haired man, smiling at the way his eyes lit up and he took the puppy as if it were a newborn baby.

"Someone will be out in a few weeks to check up on how he is progressing," the lady explained. "I'm sure you'll give him lots of love, though."

Shunsui nodded. "I'm sure he will, too. Thank you very much. Let's go, Juu. We've got lots of shopping to do now. I think we should give Gin a call and see if he would like to come with us and bring Tōshirō. What do you think?"

Jūshirō gave one of his rare, bright smiles as if nothing at all was wrong in his life. He nodded. "Y-yes. Tōshirō can meet Komamura. Will Ichimaru-san drive us home?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, as long as he can get away from Rangiku-chan without giving himself away."

Jūshirō giggled quietly, a small action that was slowly becoming more and more common. He knew that Rangiku didn't know that Gin had been sneaking Tōshirō around behind her back, but he was coming to like the silver-haired man. He was very intelligent and good to hold a conversation with, and was understanding like Shunsui was.

"I know a cheap discount store that sells stuff for pets." Shunsui pointed to the right of them once they left the Animal Rescue building. "We'll sit down here while I give Gin-kun a call, okay?"

Jūshirō nodded. He sat down on the bench by the roadside and hugged his new puppy tightly. He buried his face into the golden fur, smiling in content. He giggled when Komamura's tongue licked at his neck and pulled away.

"D-don't lick!" Jūshirō smiled fondly as he playfully scolded his puppy. "It tickles!"

Shunsui smiled. He was happy that Jūshirō was allowing the puppy's wet tongue to lick at his neck, having learnt that something as simple as a finger was usually enough to scare him. But already, he seemed so happy and… _normal._

When Shunsui hung the phone up just a minute later, he was happy to tell Jūshirō that Gin was already in town with Tōshirō and they would meet at the discount store Shunsui was talking about. Jūshirō got to his feet, probably happier than Shunsui had ever seen him before.

**-XX-**

A few hours had gone by, and Jūshirō was glad to be back at his new home with Komamura. He was sitting on the floor of the living room, holding a rope as his puppy tugged at it playfully. Shunsui was sitting on the couch with Tōshirō in his lap as Gin observed the man with his puppy.

"He's happy, ain't he?" Gin smiled. "He must love animals."

"He told me he's always wanted a puppy," Shunsui explained as he sipped at his glass of sake. "He was a bit upset today because of the neighbours fighting, and I figured he'd be lonely once I started to work, so I took him to pick a puppy out."

"Good thinkin'. I wanna talk to ya both soon 'bout Jūshirō-san." Gin looked down at his wristwatch.

"Hmm?" Shunsui looked at his friend.

"I think I have 'nough worked out 'bout Jūshirō-san ta und'stand why he's this way. I just wanna confirm suspicions."

Shunsui bit his lip. "…I'm a bit worried about whether or not Jūshirō will cooperate… He's very… _distant _when I try and talk to him. …Wait, how have you been working things out?"

Gin shrugged, his smile widening. "Can't tell ya that, Kyōraku-san."

"He's been sitting on the laptop all night, printing everything he could find about Jūshirō out." Tōshirō rolled his eyes. "You know what he's like when he wants to know something."

"…" Shunsui sighed. "You've literally been stalking Juu…?"

Gin pouted. "Thanks, Shiro-chan; now he knows what I've been up ta. I was gonna make 'im work fer his answers, but ya ruined it…"

"He'd have worked it out anyway, Gin."

Shunsui laughed. "So what did you find out? …Or should I be asking _how _you found it out… Do I even _want _to know…?"

"I have my sources." Gin smiled playfully again.

"No, he doesn't; he just typed Jūshirō's name into the internet and clicked on every page that came up!" Tōshirō exclaimed.

"Yer ruinin' my fun!" Gin whined.

"Can I see what you've found out?" Shunsui asked.

Gin nodded. "Come over when ya get a chance. Shouldn't bring my folder over or it's gonna cause trouble if it gets found."

Shunsui nodded. "I'll come over tomorrow. Thanks, Gin-kun."

"Hmm." Gin glanced down at his watch again. "We should get goin' before Ran rings us an' accuses us of leavin' her outta' the fun."

Tōshirō reluctantly got off Shunsui's lap. He hugged the brunet before he moved to Jūshirō. He knew to move slowly as he wrapped his arms around the white-haired man, knowing that so far, Shunsui had been the only one Ukitake had made progress with in terms of touch. He smiled up at the frail man before he hugged Komamura.

"Bye, Jūshirō," Tōshirō called as he moved over to Gin's side. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Jūshirō nodded and smiled back. He waved at Gin and Tōshirō until they walked out of the door and returned his attention back to his puppy. He jumped when Shunsui placed a hand on his shoulder, but he soon relaxed.

"Go have a rest, okay?" Shunsui said softly as he kissed Jūshirō's forehead.

Jūshirō pouted. "I'm not tired…"

"But you're still recovering from your stay in the hospital, and I'm sure Komamura would like a rest, too. You can play again soon, alright? You're not on the streets anymore, so it will be good for you to get as much rest as you can."

Jūshirō nodded. He leant up on his toes and kissed Shunsui's lips. He didn't demand entrance, knowing that Shunsui was still uncertain about kissing so intimately. He picked Komamura up and carried him into Shunsui's bedroom, intent on napping after such an exciting day.

Shunsui smiled as he watched the man go. He knew that Jūshirō was coming along very well, and even his drug withdrawals hadn't been as bad as they once had now that Shunsui had been helping him get off it. He knew that Jūshirō wouldn't be able to without drugs just yet, but the man hadn't had them for a day now.

Shunsui moved into the kitchen. He washed his hands before he started preparing lunch for them. He was just glad to know that Jūshirō was beginning to let people help him.

**-XX-**

"Step inta my wond'ful world o' myst'ries," Gin said the next day as he opened the door to the study room.

Shunsui chuckled as he stepped in, watching as Gin dived onto the spinning chair and slid towards the desk. He pulled up the spare chair and sat next to Gin, watching as the silver-haired man opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a folder.

"I found a' lot o' this stuff from old news reports an' the like," Gin explained as he handed the folder over. "A' lot o' it is very depressin' stuff."

"Have you talked to Rangiku or Tōshirō about it?" Shunsui asked as he opened the folder.

"Nah; I figure Shiro-chan won't und'stand it, and Ran is set in her thoughts 'bout him."

"Hmm… But you shouldn't treat Tōshirō as a child; he's very mature for his age." Shunsui pulled out the first article. It was dated around twenty years ago and seemed to focus on a school teacher named Takeuchi Kyoshi who was convicted of raping a student. As he read further into it, he became stricken by horror as he realised that the student who was raped was his very own Jūshirō.

"That's why I haven't told Shiro-chan," Gin explained. "He doesn't und'stand sexual 'buse. We've tried ta 'xplain it ta him before, but he can't grasp it prop'ly."

Shunsui shook his head. From this news article, Jūshirō would only have been seven when this happened; such a cruel thing to have to suffer so early in life.

"Look at this one." Gin pointed to one of the pages within the folder Shunsui had laid on the desk.

The brunet pulled it out from the other papers and looked it over. It wasn't a news report – news stations didn't report on suicides in this town – but it clearly came from confidential police profiles.

"How did you get this?" Shunsui questioned before he looked at the information.

"Ya know I get bored." Gin smiled happily.

Shunsui shook his head. "You're insane…"

"Why, thank you, Kyōraku-san." Gin's smile only widened.

Shunsui didn't reply and looked down at the paper in his hand. It was dated back years ago, and it was an official police report on Ukitake Miyuki's suicide. Attached was a photocopy of what was apparently a handwritten note from her before her suicide.

_I can't take this any longer…_ the note read. _He disgusts me every time I _look _at him. I don't even want to walk around my own _house _because of the germs he's spreading. I look at my other children and I worry about which one is going to be infected with his filthiness next. _

_Every time I see the younger children go near him, I cringe. I can't bear the thought of my beloved babies coming out with his diseased mind. Letting his school teacher fuck him like that… He's not my _son _anymore. I disowned him as soon as he told us. Keizo picked him up from school and he limping and refusing to sit. I took him into the bathroom to see what was wrong, and all the blood… _

_He cried to us and told us that he had fucked his teacher. I slapped him, told him he wasn't my son anymore. Keizo took him into the kitchen and laid him down before he slashed the boy's stomach open with one of the kitchen knives. _

_I fucking _hate _him. I wish the Tuberculosis had killed him off sooner. Maybe we shouldn't have rushed him to the hospital every week. Maybe if we had left it, he would have died. Why didn't you die, Jūshirō? Because of you, I can't bear the thought of living anymore in fear of catching your disgusting disease. I fucking hate you. I want you to die. I hope you die with the knowledge that you killed your own mother. _

Shunsui couldn't read anymore. That was… He wiped at the stray tears that rolled down his cheeks. He didn't want to think about how much damage this must have done to Jūshirō. It was just… No words could describe how cruel that letter was.

"There's a' arrest form in there," Gin explained. "Fer Ukitake Keizo. Child 'buse charges, child prost'tution charges, neglect, child sexual 'buse…"

"Please, stop…" Shunsui whispered. He tensed as he tried to keep the tears at bay. "I… I-I feel sick thinking about what he's gone through…"

"This is why I haven't told Shiro-chan," Gin explained. "He can't poss'bly und'stand these things."

Shunsui gathered the folder up and handed it back to Gin. "…I… Please, I can't look anymore…"

Gin nodded. He took the folder and slipped it back into his desk. "I feel a' if ya should know he's been' homeless most a' his life, he's been' on drugs since early teens, and 'e's been whored out by his dad since thirteen, from what I gathered. He's been through countless fosters that didn't want 'im and abandoned him, and spent most o' his time in brothels."

"…" Shunsui grabbed his hair, shaking his head. "…I-I…"

"Yer know yer done a great thing by takin' him in," Gin comforted. "Not many people would do that fer someone. Yer gonna make his life better than it could a' been."

Shunsui wiped at his eyes. "I-I know… I'm just glad he's making progress after such a hard life…"

"He's only progressin' 'cause a' ya." Gin sent a genuine smile at his friend.

Shunsui smiled back. "I know. Thank you for supporting us, Gin-kun. It really means a lot to both of us. Where's Tōshirō-kun? I want to say hello to him."

"I think he's in Izuru's room with 'im. Wanna say hi ta Izuru? He hasn't seen ya in a' while."

Shunsui nodded, smiling. He dried the last of his tears before he left the study with Gin and moved to the spare room that mostly housed Izuru.

"Izuru~" Gin called as he knocked on the bedroom door a minute later. "Guess who's here ta see ya~"

The door opened slowly and Izuru peeked out warily. He smiled when he saw Shunsui and opened the door. He fell into Shunsui's arms, glad to see the man again. Tōshirō was sitting on the bed, smiling at the scene.

"I'm glad to see you, Kira-kun." Shunsui whispered as he hugged the blond. "I was wondering… would you be interested in meeting my friend?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N There is minor yaoi at the end of this chapter. It's also a short chapter because I want to do a time skip next chapter.**

Jūshirō was sure that Shunsui had finally abandoned him. The brunet had left him alone in the apartment, saying he needed to go over to see Gin and that he should stay home in preparations for when Shunsui started his new job, but the Kyōraku had been gone for a long time.

Jūshirō hated himself more than ever for having gotten his hopes up at having finally found someone to stop the pain in his heart, and he just wanted to die. He had already cut through his wrists again, but he didn't want to die that way.

That's why Jūshirō was standing on the balcony of Shunsui's apartment, looking down at the four story drop. He sniffed as tears run down his cheeks and his lip quivered. It was a long drop onto the hard cement below, but it would be worth it to stop the absolute agony that he had to deal with every second of his life.

Ukitake put one foot onto the railing, and then the next, until he was standing up. It would be so easy to just inch one foot forward and then he would lose his balance and tumble down…

Jūshirō felt like he was choking. His world was spinning and he felt as if he was going to explode from all the pain he was feeling. He closed his eyes, hoping that this would be a quicker death than cutting his wrists. He went to move one foot forward, but then…

"_Jūshirō!"_

Jūshirō yelped as his name was screamed and he fell forward in fright, certain that he was going to die. However, someone grabbed his wrist just in time, stopping him from falling any further. He looked up into Shunsui's red face, gulping as he realised he had made a huge mistake.

"Izuru!" Shunsui cried to someone behind him. "Help me pull him up!"

Jūshirō whimpered as an unfamiliar blond ran forward and grabbed his wrist, trying to help Shunsui pull him up. He didn't understand why he was scared that Shunsui would let go of him; hadn't that been what he wanted just seconds ago…?

After what felt like forever, Jūshirō had finally been pulled up and back onto the balcony. He was in Shunsui's lap as the brunet hugged him and cried into his shoulder, his fingers tangled in his white locks.

"Why…?!" Shunsui sobbed. "I just lost Nanao; I can't lose you, too…! I love you so much, Jūshirō…! S-so much…! I can't lose you…!"

Jūshirō clung back, trembling as fresh tears fell down his face. He was aware of the blond's eyes on them, but he paid it no heed. He was, however, taken by surprise when Shunsui pulled his head back and crushed his lips desperately against his own.

The white-haired man moaned and opened his mouth, accepting the tongue that had been begging for entry. He felt hands grip at him desperately and tried to return the kiss as aggressively as Shunsui was making it.

When they pulled apart, Shunsui's tear-filled eyes made contact with Jūshirō's own. There was a deep pain in them, one that Jūshirō knew had no business being there. He flinched as the brunet's voice spoke, cold and harsh for the first time towards him.

"Go to bed, Jūshirō." Shunsui growled as he stood up.

"I-I –" Jūshirō tried to speak, but he was quickly cut off.

"I said go to bed!" Shunsui snapped. "You're tired. Sleep."

Jūshirō winced and made haste towards the spare bedroom he had been given. He sobbed, unable to understand why Shunsui was suddenly angry with him. Was it because he… had tried to kill himself…? But why was Shunsui just now getting mad at him for it…?

The Ukitake threw himself down onto the bed and cried into the pillows, shedding so much pain that was kept locked away inside of him. His cries were heartbreaking to hear, filled with nothing but the sound of agonising sorrow.

Shunsui himself was crying. He sat on the couch with his face in his hands, what had happened replaying over and over again in his mind. Izuru sat next to him, rubbing his back, not knowing what to do. He picked up the puppy that was whining at their feet and held it tightly, hating to see the people he loved so upset and unable to do anything to help.

**-XX-**

When Jūshirō awoke a few hours later, he was scared of the idea of leaving the bed. Was Shunsui still mad at him…? Would he… _hit _him…? Maybe even… _use _him…? Such thoughts only distressed the male more and brought a fresh wave of tears down his cheeks.

The man slowly stood up, creeping towards the door. He pulled it open a crack and peeked out, not hearing anything at all. He held his breath, trembling as he stepped out and into the hallway. He made his way to the end of the hallway and glanced out, finding Shunsui sitting on the couch, watching the TV while the blond from before was seemingly tapping buttons on a phone.

Jūshirō gasped and stepped back when Shunsui's gaze moved to him. He sat down against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest, trying not to cry.

"Jūshirō…"

The Ukitake looked up at his head his name being called. Shunsui didn't sound angry… He stood back up hesitantly and walked towards the brunet, stopping a few feet away. He hugged himself and looked down, very much resembling a scolded child afraid of getting berated by its parents again.

"Jūshirō, I'm sorry for snapping at you…" Shunsui held his arms open, inviting Jūshirō to sit down on his lap. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man when Ukitake did so. "I was… so scared… I just lost my girlfriend, and all I could think about was that I was going to be alone once again… Please, forgive me for being angry with you…"

Jūshirō's hand fisted the white shirt. He pulled himself closer and nodded, accepting the apology instantly. "…I'm sorry for scaring you…"

"Don't be sorry," Shunsui whispered. He ran his hand through the white locks, smiling softly. "I understand."

Jūshirō nodded again, basking in the comforting aura from Shunsui. He looked at the blond before burying his face in Shunsui's chest shyly as the stranger smiled at him.

Things were silent for a few minutes before Jūshirō spoke tentatively. "…When I was little…"

Shunsui made sure he was listening, knowing that Jūshirō didn't open up out of the blue unless he wanted to explain his actions – and even then, that was very rare.

"…I went through lots of foster homes…" Jūshirō continued on, rubbing at his eyes. "…They didn't want me there… They hated me… They yelled and hit me… And when they finally had enough of me, they just left… They'd pack up, ready to move houses, and once everything was on the trucks… they'd tell me to stay behind and they'd be back for me… I-I would wait for hours, sometimes days for them to come back… But they never did… One foster parent even dumped me on the side of the road, promising to be back… But I never saw them again… So when you were gone for so long, I thought you had finally gotten sick of me, too, but I couldn't understand what I had done to make you hate me…"

"I'm so sorry, Jūshirō…" Shunsui whispered. "I swear I will never do that to you. I will never leave you behind. I love you too much to do that."

Jūshirō flinched as the blond spoke softly, unexpectedly. "…I had to live at foster homes, too…"

"…Really…?" Jūshirō whispered, raising wary eyes to look at the blond.

"Yeah. My parents died in a car accident when I was three, so I got passed around a lot. But none of them seemed to want me as well. I eventually started running away before they could dump me. That's how I met Gin and Rangiku."

"Gin and Rangiku lived on the streets for quite a while, too," Shunsui explained. "They took Kira-kun in and looked after him until they turned their lives around."

"…Ichimaru-san is…" Jūshirō bit his lip, not understanding how this could be true – not when Gin was always smiling and having fun. "…Happy…"

"He's happy because he knows not to take life for granted," the blond whispered. "He lives life to its fullest because he doesn't dwell on his pain. He's… the strongest person I know."

Jūshirō looked up at Shunsui with watering eyes. He whispered, "Can I… be strong, too, one day…?"

"You already _are," _Shunsui reassured. "You're still here, and you're willing to give life another chance. You're strong – even if you can't see it."

Jūshirō frowned for a few seconds before he nodded. "Can I… ask what happened to you, Shunsui…?"

Shunsui shrugged. "My dad molested me until I grew old enough to fight back. It really messed me up, Juu, but I figured there's no point in, as Kira-kun said, dwelling on something you couldn't help."

Jūshirō nodded again. "…Where's Komamura?"

"Kira-kun put him in the bathroom. And that reminds me; Kira-kun, this is Ukitake Jūshirō; Juu, Kira Izuru."

"Nice to meet you, Ukitake-san." Izuru smiled gently. Shunsui had explained to him that he thought Izuru could help out with Jūshirō's healing process because they shared a similar pain.

"…K-kira-san…" Jūshirō whispered shyly.

"You boys play nice, okay?" Shunsui laughed as he gently placed Jūshirō on the couch next to him. "I'm going to get started on dinner. Are you saying the night, Kira-kun?"

Izuru shook his head as he moved closer to Jūshirō. "Gin will come pick me up after dinner."

Shunsui nodded. "Okay."

With that said, he left the living room, leaving Jūshirō and Izuru alone to get to know each other. So far, his plan of introducing the Ukitake slowly to his friends was working well; it was getting the man more social experience and helping him realise that there are others out there who have suffered and will care for him.

**-XX-**

A week had passed by, and Jūshirō was sitting alone in the apartment, trembling as he held Komamura close to his chest. He was alone again, having been told that Shunsui started his new job today and would be home by seven.

Shunsui had wanted Jūshirō to feel more comfortable with being left alone without the fear of having been abandoned, and promised that he would be home no later than seven-thirty.

When at last the front door was unlocked and opened, Jūshirō got to his feet and waited. Shunsui walked in, and Jūshirō let out a small squeak before he ran to the older man and pressed himself against the other.

"I'm glad you're safe," Shunsui whispered as he kissed the smaller male. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he_ loved _Jūshirō, though it had taken having to catch the younger before he plummeted to his planned death just to realise this.

Jūshirō was quiet, just content with being in the other man's arms. He walked when Shunsui pulled him over to the couch, and he obediently lay down upon it as the other charmed him into doing so. He knew what was coming, and it was very welcome to him.

Shunsui invaded the smaller male's mouth with his tongue, coaxing it to battle for domination with his own. His hand slowly travelled down Jūshirō's body until it came to rest just above the smaller man's crotch. They had made great leeway within the last couple of days, and Jūshirō was now comfortable enough to let the brunet massage his member through his pants. It was the first time in his life he had ever felt pleasure through such an intimate act.

"Ohh…" Jūshirō moaned softly as he pulled away from Shunsui's mouth. He raised his hips, wanting more friction as he was palmed gently.

Shunsui knew that Jūshirō trusted him to not take advantage of the younger, and it made his heart soar to know that this was how much trust Jūshirō had in him. He leant down and kissed the younger again, feeling Ukitake's bucks become more erratic as his orgasm approached.

Jūshirō moaned loudly, crying out and throwing his head side to side as he became drowned by pleasure. He bucked helplessly as he stained the front of his pants with his seed, but he was pleased; letting Shunsui touch him like this made him feel good. He felt safe, and the care that the brunet took in assuring his comfort during such an act made him feel like he truly was loved. He didn't indulge in this actively solely for the pleasure; he indulged in the unknown emotions that were invoked by Kyōraku's hand.

Jūshirō's eyes lidded as he panted, looking up at Shunsui. He smiled softly and rolled onto his side, closing his eyes and purring as a large hand stroked his cheek.

"I'll take you to bed," Shunsui whispered as he picked Jūshirō up and carried him into his room. He laid the younger down in his bed and pulled the covers over him, leaving him to rest while he started on dinner.


	11. Chapter 11

**I will be moving the lemon in this chapter over to my adultfanfiction account. Sorry for the inconvience.**

Three months had passed by for Jūshirō and Shunsui. The Ukitake had been making so much progress in such a short time, Shunsui couldn't have been more proud.

The two were currently walking through one of the dog parks together with Komamura, the pup wagging his tail happily. The dog had grown considerably, though he still wasn't at his full size.

"Would you wait here for a minute?" Shunsui asked as he stopped walking and gestured to the public toilets not far away. "I've got to go the toilet."

Jūshirō nodded hesitantly, not wanting to be alone when there were so many strangers around. He sat down on a park bench and pulled Komamura into his arms, burying his face into the silky golden fur. He tried so hard to pretend that there was no one else alone and it was just him and Komamura, but all that failed when someone grabbed his shoulder and pushed him forward.

With a scream, Jūshirō fell off the bench. He let go of the dog and looked up with wet eyes. His heart pounded furiously as he saw a face he hadn't seen in twenty years. He trembled in terror and all he could do was sit there and cry.

"You certainly have grown up to be so very handsome," the man whispered as he knelt down and grabbed Jūshirō's cheek. He had black hair that fell into his face and tattoos adorned the visible skin of his arms. "Even more beautiful now than when I fucked you into hysterics."

Jūshirō knew that people were staring. There were whispers and mutters as they watched the scene, but no one seemed to want to help – just like always.

The Ukitake screamed and struggled to get away when the man punched him in the face, but he was too powerless to do anything. He was aware of Komamura barking and lunging at his attacker, but the pup seemed too scared to bite.

"Shunsui!" Jūshirō screamed as he felt a hand slip in underneath his pants. "Shunsui!"

"Stay quiet!" The man shouted as he wrapped a powerful hand around Jūshirō's throat. He squeezed. "Stay fucking quiet!"

"Get off him!"

Jūshirō gasped for air as the hand around his throat was forcibly released by Shunsui who had, once again, come to his rescue. He curled up into a ball and sobbed, ignoring the licks and whimpers Komamura gave. He had not been this scared in a while, and he knew why; that was the same man who had forced Jūshirō into his first time all those years ago; Takeuchi Kyoshi, his old school teacher.

The Ukitake managed to block everything out, which was why he screamed when he suddenly felt a hand grab him. The only thing he could think about was that Kyoshi was going to rape him again. He didn't want to do those things – not now that he had Shunsui to take care of him – and he was determined that his only sexual partner from now on would be the brunet.

"Let go me of me!" Jūshirō screamed as he thrashed around, wanting desperately to get away. "Let go of me!"

"Jūshirō, stop!" Shunsui's voice broke through the haze in Jūshirō's mind, but it wasn't enough to stop the younger from thrashing.

Jūshirō's panic only continued to rise until he had passed out from hyperventilation. Shunsui sighed, seeing that his attacker had already fled and Komamura was on edge.

"C'mon, Juu…" Shunsui whispered as he picked Jūshirō up into his arms. He grabbed the dog's lead before he carried Jūshirō home, hating himself for having allowed this to happen.

**-XX-**

When Jūshirō woke up, he was laying in Shunsui's bed with the older male next to him.

"You're awake…" Shunsui whispered. Jūshirō just rolled onto his side. "I'm so sorry, Juu… I didn't know that would happen…"

"…He did it…" Jūshirō whispered, his voice wavering.

"What did he do?" Shunsui whispered back as he moved to caress Jūshirō's cheek.

"…When I was little…" Tears welled up in Jūshirō's eyes. "…I-I had just started school… I started late, because my birthday's December twenty-first, so I was older than my classmates… And my first teacher was_ him… _ He seemed so nice… He always sat down with me and… he would touch me all the time… He would put his hands on my shoulders as he leant down to look at what I was doing… H-he'd hug me when no one else was around…"

Shunsui knew what Jūshirō was getting to, and he knew better than to interrupt as this was something Ukitake needed to talk about.

"…Then he asks me to stay behind at lunch…" Jūshirō's shoulders quivered as he struggled to keep himself controlled. "…H-he said he wanted to help me with my work… He locked the door, and… he started hitting me… He slapped me around before he pulled my clothes off… And he made me touch him… He made me bend over his desk so that he could…"

Shunsui went to put his arms around Jūshirō, but the man flinched and pulled away. "…Please… d-don't touch me right now…"

"I'm sorry…"

"…" Jūshirō continued on as he started to sob, having never had someone who he could talk to about this before. "…When I told my mum, she slapped me and said she hated me; that I… wasn't her son… And my dad… He laid me down in the kitchen and told me to relax… I-I was so scared… He had a big kitchen knife in his hand… He lifted my shirt up and… H-he cut my stomach open… It hurt so much… I was so scared..."

Shunsui knew this because of the suicide note Gin had found, but he knew better than to tell Jūshirō this. Instead, he stayed quiet, listening.

"…And then the people at my school found out what my sensei had done… The other senseis stayed away from me… They were so distant from me… They ignored me whenever they could… And the students… They made fun of me because of what my sensei had done… They said it was my fault; that I had liked it… That I _deserved _it… No one wanted to be my friend, or talk to me without making fun of me… They hated me so much for what I couldn't prevent…"

Jūshirō cried harder as his body trembled. Shunsui wanted so desperately to reach out and hold him, tell him that everything would be okay now, but he knew that no amount of consoling could fix the damage that had been done.

"…I'm so sorry you've had to live like this…" Shunsui whispered as he wiped at his eyes. "…I wish I could help…"

Jūshirō turned to Shunsui with wide, wet eyes. "Y-you _can _help…! Please… I want you to… to have sex with me, Shunsui…"

Shunsui bit his lip. He shook his head, not wanting to take advantage of Jūshirō when he was in such a fragile state. "…I can't do that to you, Juu… You're hurting…"

"That's why I want you to…" Jūshirō whimpered, pleading in his eyes and voice. "Please… Y-you make my pain stop… Please… Show me that sex can be enjoyable… Make my pain go away… Please… Make the memories stop…"

"I'm scared of taking advantage of you…" Shunsui confided.

"That doesn't matter!" Jūshirō all but begged. "_They _all took advantage of me! I know _you _won't! Y-you never make me do things I don't want to! You're different from the others! …Please…!"

"We haven't even eased you into preparation, yet…" Shunsui bit his lip. "…I don't… want to hurt you…"

Jūshirō shook his head. "You won't… I-I… I trust you so much, Shunsui… Please… Help me forget everything they've done to me..."

Shunsui couldn't stand hearing the agonising pleads coming out of Jūshirō's mouth any longer. He nodded, giving in to the desperate pleas for salvation. He kissed Jūshirō gently, wanting to be careful with him; he was such a delicate man sex-wise and it didn't take much to upset him.

Jūshirō moaned as he returned the kiss in desperation. He reached up and gripped the brunet hair, it acting as his anchor. He moaned again as Shunsui pulled away and kissed his jaw, slowly making his way down his throat with ever-so-gentle kisses.

"Are you sure this is what you want...?" Shunsui whispered as he unbuttoned the white shirt Jūshirō wore. He frowned when his lover nodded, wishing that they could have had their first time together under happier circumstances.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Apologies for this and last chapter; I've been having a bad last couple of days, and writing is usually my way of venting. So apologies in advance for the sheer cruelness of this chapter.**

**Also, I'm aware that I've messed around with a lot of this chapter and haven't quite kept to reality in this chapter, but just go with it for the sake of plot. **

"It's late, Byakuya-kun..." Shunsui mumbled as he wiped sleep from his eyes. He stepped back from the door to his apartment, allowing the Kuchiki room to enter.

"You were not answering your phone." Byakuya stated. "I need to talk to you. It is important."

"It's twelve at _night, _Byakuya-kun... We were _sleeping... _Can it wait until tomorrow...?"

"It cannot." Byakuya looked around. "Where is Ukitake?"

"Sleeping. Please, come back tomorrow..."

"I feel as if Ukitake is in danger," Byakuya explained. "And you, as well."

"What?" Shunsui's eyes widened. "What are you talking about...?"

"A man has been approaching me, asking for Ukitake's whereabouts. Yours, too. He has said he knows I am close to you, and that you have been caring for Ukitake."

"I don't understand..." Shunsui bit his lip as he glanced towards his bedroom.

"He says that he is Ukitake's father." Byakuya was emotionless, but Shunsui knew, deep down, the Kuchiki was concerned for his friend, or else he wouldn't have bothered coming here. "He claims to want to 'finish the job'. When I told him to leave my property, he resisted. I had to have Renji physically remove him."

"...I thought he was in jail..." Shunsui whispered. "...Gin... said that he was..."

"Ichimaru has been hacking police records again?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "He may know something. Let us go and see him."

"Wait." Shunsui moved to the balcony and opened the door, letting Komamura back into the apartment. He came back to Byakuya's side, concerned about leaving Jūshirō alone, but not wanting to worry him if it turned out to be nothing. "Come on."

Byakuya and Shunsui locked the apartment door behind them before they hurried down the stairs, working their way towards Byakuya's car. Neither of them saw the person lurking at the back of the corridor, a squirming, whimpering body in their arms. The person made their way over to Shunsui's apartment and unlocked the door before they stepped in, closing the door behind them and locking it.

**-XX-**

It came as a surprise to both Byakuya and Shunsui to hear that Rangiku and Tōshirō had been bailed up by the same person who was harassing the Kuchiki.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shunsui asked, very distressed about this situation.

"I didn't think it was important..." Rangiku frowned. "I mean... It's not like you've seen Ukitake since he got out of the hospital. ...Right...?"

Shunsui bit his lip and looked down; Gin and Tōshirō had helped him hide Ukitake from Rangiku, knowing that she would be angry to hear that they were still in contact.

Rangiku gasped as she realised what had happened. "You didn't...?"

Shunsui sighed. "...He's my boyfriend and he's been living with me since he got out of hospital..."

Rangiku put her face in her hands. "Crap..."

Gin, who had been oddly silent throughout this, stood up and grabbed his laptop from the kitchen counter. He opened it and logged in before he accessed police records once again. He typed something in before he spoke.

"Ran?" Gin sounded stressed. "I have a' folder in my desk. Can ya please grab it fer me?"

Rangiku nodded and did as requested. When she returned, Gin grabbed the folder and headed straight for one page in particular. He glanced at it before he typed something into his laptop and then stopped.

"...Ukitake-san's rapist has escaped from jail..." Gin said. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at this, not having been informed about their discoveries. "...As well as his father... An' neither of 'em have been caught. It also notes o' the two havin' an unus'al friendship an' talks o' one person... Jūshirō..."

"They've teamed up?" Shunsui questioned.

"I'dunno," Gin answered. "But they're def'nitly the people who've been harassin' ya both."

Shunsui gasped as he remembered something. "The other day... Someone attacked Jūshirō. Jūshirō told me he was the school teacher. So they definitely know about us!"

"Troublemakers?" Byakuya asked, not understanding what everyone was talking about. He had put a few small pieces together, but there wasn't enough information to form a complete hypothesis.

"Worse than that," Gin said. He closed the lid of his laptop and stood up. "They clearly know all 'bout us..."

At these words, Rangiku hurried towards the bedrooms and opened the door to Tōshirō's room. She poked her head in before realising that the window was open but Tōshirō was nowhere to be seen. She screamed and collapsed to her knees, horrified at the thought of someone having abducted her precious Tōshirō.

Gin literally dropped the laptop as he got to his feet and ran to Rangiku. He knelt beside her and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her.

"Ran, what happened?!" Gin looked into the room, and it took him only a second to realise what had happened. This situation was worse than they had thought. He turned to Byakuya and Shunsui who were standing behind them with looks of concern on their faces. "Shunsui, we need ta get back ta Ukitake-san as soon as we can."

"I am coming," Byakuya said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to call Rukia and check that she was okay.

"Me, too," Rangiku said through her sobs. "W-we need to get Tōshirō back...!"

"We will," Gin soothed as he helped the woman to her feet. He held her hand as they all moved out of the house and to Byakuya's car.

**-XX-**

"Looks like you've been doing okay for yourself... Jūshirō..."

Jūshirō cowered on his bed, trembling violently as he sobbed. He had been awoken in fright as someone heavy hit him with a loud cry. When he had opened his eyes, he was confused to find Tōshirō next to him, crying, but he quickly understood when he saw the two men he feared the most in his life standing next to the bed.

"S-shunsui!" Jūshirō screamed again and again as the two men grabbed Tōshirō and taunted them both, terrified out of his mind.

"So you turned out to be a little faggot after all..." The man known as Takeuchi Kyoshi reached out and gripped Jūshirō's chin, turning the younger man to face him. He then turned Jūshirō to look at Tōshirō, who was back in Ukitake Keizo's arms, thrashing as he cried hysterically.

"That's why we're going to kill him." Keizo smirked as he gripped Tōshirō's shoulder hard enough to bruise it. "The kid first, so he can watch and know we're not lying."

Jūshirō was too scared to speak. He knew he had to do something and protect Tōshirō, but he was just too scared. He screamed when Kyoshi lunged at him and knocked him onto the bed, and he cried harder when his pants were ripped from his body, memories of his rape flashing fresh through his mind.

The four males were aware of the loud bangs on the front door, the calls from worried neighbours asking what was happening, but there was nothing no one could do.

"Let me go!" Tōshirō squealed as Keizo pulled a knife out of his pocket and traced it along his throat, pressing hard enough to draw tiny blobs of blood. "Let me go!"

"Blame your precious Jūshirō," Keizo hissed. "It's all his fault. Everything's _his_ fault. He's going to _die _for what he's done. But sadly, he'll be the death of you and your foster parents, too. Everyone you and Jūshirō have a connection to will _die."_

Tōshirō cried harder, his young mind on overdrive. He screamed for Gin but, as it had been for Jūshirō, no one had swooped in ready to save the day.

Jūshirō screamed and thrashed as he was violated cruelly, but he knew he was too weak to get Kyoshi off him. His wide eyes turned to Tōshirō, horrified to find the boy gasping as a hand groped the little child.

"Stop your sniffling!" Kyoshi snarled. He grabbed the knife that Keizo had been teasing Tōshirō with and stabbed Jūshirō in the stomach. "Shut that kid up, too, Keizo!"

Kyoshi held Ukitake still so that he could watch Tōshirō's punishment. Keizo moved Tōshirō closer to the bed and slammed his face into the corner of the bedside table. Tōshirō didn't lose consciousness, but he had received enough pain to learn that things would only worsen from here on if he didn't stop struggling. He stopped, in both fear and pain, as hands touched him in places he didn't want them to, and as blood rushed down his face and dripping onto his pyjamas.

Blood spilt from Jūshirō's mouth as he fell into a coughing fit, the attack only making his new stomach wound cause him more agony than it already was. He was violated again and again, and forced to watch as his own father molested sweet little Tōshirō.

The younger Ukitake's arm swung out in panic and knocked a glass of water that had been sitting on the bedside table off, straight onto one of the power points next to the bed. There was a hiss and a crackle and then flames shot up, effectively cutting the two torturers' fun to an end.

"Just leave them and they'll burn to death," Keizo said as he dropped the now-barely-conscious Tōshirō onto the ground. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Kyoshi nodded. He did his pants back up and followed Keizo, knowing that the fire alarm that was now ringing overhead should have cleared off the neighbours intent on getting into the apartment.

Jūshirō moaned as he rolled onto his side so that he could look at Tōshirō. He wanted to move and get the boy out of the danger, but he couldn't do anything; he could barely move. He just closed his eyes, accepting his fate as flames climbed the walls of the bedroom. Wasn't death what he had always wanted...? So why, now that it was coming to claim him, did he want to live...?

"Shun...sui..." Jūshirō moaned, the smoke from the fire making his Tuberculosis attack worse.

**-XX-**

When Byakuya pulled up out the front of Shunsui's apartment complex, they were horrified to see that the building was being evacuated as smoke billowed out of the window Shunsui could identify as the one belonging to his apartment. He dropped to his knees, horrified beyond measure.

"We've got to get in there!" Shunsui shouted.

"Do _not_." Byakuya said sternly. "You will _die _if you go in there."

"At least we didn't stay here doin' nothing 'bout it!" Gin growled. "Our loved ones are in there! Wouldn't ya go in if it were _Rukia _in there?"

"..." Byakuya sighed before he nodded. "My apologies."

"I want to go, too!" Rangiku demanded.

Gin turned and grabbed her shoulders. "Nah; yer stayin' here, Ran. It's too dang'rous! 'Sides; if somethin' happens ta me goin' in there, Shiro-chan will need ya."

Rangiku nodded as she wiped at her eyes. She hugged her partner tightly before they kissed gently, and then watched as Gin ran to the burning building with Byakuya and Shunsui. Police had tried to stop them, but they slipped past, entering before the fire truck had even showed up.

The smoke was strong, but they pushed through, glad that the fire had only spread to some of the other apartments on their floor. With hacking coughs, the three ran through the door to Shunsui's apartment that had been left open, covering their mouths and noses with their shirts in an attempt to stop inhaling smoke.

Byakuya was the last to enter the apartment, but he tripped over something that he knew shouldn't have been lying near the doorway. He looked down, just making out Komamura's bleeding, quivering form through the smoke.

"The dog is hurt!" Byakuya shouted between coughs over the roar of the fire that was consuming so much of the apartment but miraculously leaving a path to Shunsui's bedroom.

Shunsui knelt before Byakuya, feeling tears well up in his eyes. The dog whimpered, obviously badly hurt.

"Can you carry him out?" Shunsui pleaded Byakuya; he couldn't bear the thought of leaving precious Komamura behind.

Byakuya nodded and picked the dog up, coughing harshly from the thick smoke. He waited by the door, not willing to leave Gin and Shunsui in here alone. He watched as the two made their way down the burning hallway, barely avoiding the fire that raged strongest from Shunsui's bedroom.

**-XX-**

Rangiku sat in the car, crying her heart out. She was so scared, and she didn't know what to do. She could hear some of the residents talking to each other, talking about how there was a lot of screaming and shouting coming from the fourth floor, and suddenly that apartment was the one to catch on fire.

Rangiku's heart stopped. So Gin and Byakuya were right; someone _had _been targeting them...

**-XX-**

Shunsui ignored the burns he had received by pushing flaming debris away that had been blocking the door to his bedroom. He hurried forward with Gin right behind him, horrified to find that the entire room was on fire.

"Tōshirō!" Gin screamed as he pressed forward, flinching as flames licked at him. He knew where Tōshirō was, and that was right next to the bed. He whimpered as he felt his arm becoming engulfed by the fire, but Tōshirō was so close...

Closing his hand around the boy's smouldering, shirt, Gin pulled, dragging the child across the hot wooden floor and into a one-armed hug. He winced, trying to hold back tears and a cry of pain from the large burn that was covering nearly his entire left arm.

The Ichimaru was scared when Tōshirō didn't respond to any simulation, but he knew that the boy was extremely lucky he hadn't been burnt too badly by the raging fires. Now Jūshirō...

Shunsui could make out his boyfriend's frail, unmoving form on the bed, and all he could think was that he had lost Jūshirō, just like he had lost Nanao. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he pushed past fallen debris and grabbed Jūshirō off the bed, cradling him carefully.

The brunet coughed, knowing that the smoke was overwhelming for them all. He stood up and moved to Gin, grabbing the man's hand. Together, they made their way out of the burning hallway and back to Byakuya, who seemed to be close to passing out. His eyes kept flicking shut and he was coughing weakly, slumped against the wall.

Shunsui let go of Gin's hand and leant down, hooking his arm underneath Byakuya's. He lifted the man and helped him stumble out of the apartment. They didn't get very far before Gin collapsed next, just next to the stairwell.

Shunsui didn't know what to do. There was no way he could get them all out of the building in time; especially when he, too, was close to passing out.

Just when Shunsui felt as if nothing could be done, their rescue came in the forms of men dressed in fire resistant clothing. Several of them stopped and picked the group up, carrying them out of the burning building and to safety.

-XX-

Rangiku was horrified to see her friends being carried out of the building. She tried to run over, but a female police officer stopped her.

"Ma'am, you can't go to them!" the officer exclaimed as she stood in front of Rangiku.

"My child and partner are with them!" Rangiku pleaded. "Please!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you go to them! An ambulance is on its way here now."

Rangiku couldn't even blink before several ambulances pulled up beside them. She watched helplessly as her family and friends were loaded in and taken away to the hospital.


	13. Chapter 13

**I know the last chapter left a lot of unanswered questions, and I've cleared up most of the prominent ones, but if there are any you don't see answers to or aren't clear enough, let me know and I'll clear them up with the next chapter.**

**Also, Gin and Tōshirō aren't really focused on in this chapter, but you'll see more of how they're doing next chapter also.**

When Shunsui opened his eyes, he was not surprised to find himself in a hospital bed. He did, however, immediately panic upon finding he was the only one in the room.

There was a male nurse checking his vitals, and he turned at Shunsui's voice.

"Where are my friends...?" Shunsui whispered.

"I'm pretty sure they're okay." the male smiled. "Nurse Unohana has taken over everyone involved in the incident. My name is Hanatarō, and Nurse Unohana has put me in charge. So far, you're the only one who has regained consciousness."

"..." Shunsui sat up, wincing in pain.

"You suffered a lot of burns," Hanatarō explained. "You're lucky compared to the others, though."

Shunsui nodded, feeling miserable. "...I need to see Ukitake Jūshirō."

"I'm afraid he still hasn't awoken. And police want to interview you. Your neighbours reported a lot of screaming from your apartment before the fire."

"..." Shunsui felt tears well up in his eyes. "...I never should have left him. Please, let me see him."

Hanatarō frowned. "Nurse Unohana will probably kill me..."

"I..." a single tear slipped down Shunsui's cheek. "...I couldn't protect him..."

Hanatarō frowned. Silently, he moved to Shunsui and pulled the IV drip from his arm. "I'm sorry to hear that. He's in the next room. Please, don't strain yourself."

"Thank you." Shunsui stood up, taking a few moments to steady himself.

The Kyōraku eventually found himself by Jūshirō's bed, holding the pale hand. He cried, feeling as if he had failed his precious Jūshirō.

In the back of his mind, Shunsui was aware that all physical evidence of Nanao having been in his life was now destroyed by the fire, and that fact coupled with witnessing Jūshirō hooked up to a ventilator and wrapped in bandages made Shunsui break down harder than he had in a long time. He cried himself to sleep, but not once had he let go of Jūshirō's hand.

-XX-

Days had passed, and Jūshirō still hadn't woken up. Shunsui had stayed with him for the entirety of their stay, and he had no intention of leaving any time soon.

"I'm going to put him on an endotracheal tube," Nurse Unohana said to Shunsui as she examined Jūshirō. "It will be more beneficial to his health. We can clean out the last of the soot and mucus now."

Shunsui nodded, feeling numb. He had been cornered constantly by police and concerned neighbours, and he just wanted to be left alone. He looked at Jūshirō's pale face that was now burnt across the man's left cheek. He sighed, knowing that it was all his fault that this had happened.

"Kyōraku?"

Shunsui looked up at Byakuya's voice. He flinched when he noticed the white scarf wrapped around the man's neck, and the white tekko on the man's hands that extended up his wrists. He had never worn them before, and it was clear that he was using them to hide burns.

"I'm glad to see you up and about, Kuchikia-sama." Unohana smiled. "I see the gifts your grandfather left for you are serving you well."

Byakuya nodded at the nurse and moved to sit beside Shunsui. He stared at Jūshirō, knowing that nothing he could say would bring comfort to Shunsui. He glanced at the man, taking in the way the man's right eye was closed and surrounded by a burn. There were no other noticeable burns that he could see, but he was sure there would be others.

"You're awake..." Shunsui smiled and reached out, about to pat his friend's shoulder. He pulled away when Byakuya winced at the contact, kicking himself for having been so careless. "Where is Rukia and Renji?"

"They are eating lunch," Byakuya said. "What happened to your eye?"

Shunsui reached up and held his hand over it, frowning. "I did it trying to get into the bedroom. The fire's intensity spiked and got me."

Byakuya nodded. "I see. I hear Ichimaru and Hitsugaya have carbon monoxide poisoning."

Unohana, who had been continuing her check-up of Jūshirō, turned to them at these words. "They are very lucky. I don't think the child would have lasted much longer if he didn't get here when he did. And Ichimaru-san, too. He took the brunt of the damage, along with Ukitake-san."

Byakuya and Shunsui nodded. They turned back to Jūshirō before the brunet remembered something. "Nurse Unohana?"

"What is it?" Unohana's smile was as kind as he had always seen it, so Kyōraku could only hope that she would be as understanding right now.

"...Jūshirō's dog was injured in the fire," Shunsui started to explain, "but my neighbour has taken him to a vet. He's okay now and ready to come home, but... all the documents we had of him being a registered emotional support animal are gone now... I know you probably won't allow it because I can't prove it to you anymore, but... when Jūshirō wakes up... he's going to need the dog... Please, understand that I'm pleading with you to understand that Jūshirō _needs _him here..."

Unohana nodded, her smile never faltering. "I understand. You may bring him here. I'll trust in your words. But he'll need to leave if he poses a problem, okay?"

Shunsui nodded. "T-thank you... so much..."

"I will get the dog for you, Kyōraku," Byakuya said as he stood up.

"W-wait!" Shunsui exclaimed. "Are you even well enough to leave?!"

"He is," Unohana reassured. "He's doing very well."

"...Okay..." Shunsui found himself whispering. He watched Byakuya leave before he turned back to Jūshirō.

"I'll leave you alone, okay?" Unohana said gently as she placed a hand on the small of Shunsui's back, knowing there were no injuries there. "Let me know if something happens."

Shunsui nodded. He sighed before he started to whisper his problems to Jūshirō, trying to pretend that the other could hear him. "...The cops have been questioning everyone... They cornered Rangiku not long after we were taken to hospital... Wanting to know why Gin entered a burning building... She told me they questioned Rukia and Renji about the man who came to Byakuya's home looking for you... Oh, you don't know Renji, do you? He's Rukia's best friend and bodyguard, and Byakuya's partner. You'd like him, I think. They told me yesterday that they caught your dad and your teacher... That they admitted to everything... It's so sick... Your father wanted you dead all because you had been raped... He talked the other one into helping him... Your father honestly believed he was doing the right thing by killing you because you had been raped by another man..."

Jūshirō, as expected, stayed asleep as he had for the past couple of days.

"...But now, because of them... I have no home, and... everything I had of Nanao's... is _gone... _I can't do this, Jūshirō... It's my fault... I had left when Nanao was killed, and... I almost got you killed the same way... It's all my fault... I can't do it... I can't..."

Shunsui buried his face into his hands, crying heavily. He felt so lost and he needed Jūshirō by his side. He needed the other to talk to him and touch him and reassure him that he wasn't going to leave him like Nanao had. There was nothing he needed more than Jūshirō.

**-XX-**

A few more days had passed before Jūshirō had awoken. He was very weak, and it was no surprise that he was frightened.

"It's just me..." Shunsui whispered as he reached out and grabbed Jūshirō's hand. He squeezed slightly, mindful of the horrible burns the man had received, before he reached out and rested his palm against the younger's cheek, knowing that it brought great comfort to Jūshirō. "Just me..."

Jūshirō's mouth opened and closed wordlessly, his eyes wide with fear. He reached up with a shaking hand and grabbed the tube going down his throat.

"Jūshirō, please don't do that..." Shunsui said gently as he reached out and grabbed the hand that was now tugging at the tube. "It's okay. It's helping you breathe. It's okay."

Komamura, who had been sleeping on the bed next to Jūshirō, was now awake and licking at his owner's hand. He whimpered and nudged Ukitake with his nose, clearly sensing the distress.

Jūshirō pulled his hand from Shunsui's and instead reached over, gripping the golden fur tightly. He looked at his dog, tears welling up in his eyes as he saw the way fur was missing and clear burns were present, and he didn't want to know what was under the bandage wrapped around Komamura's stomach.

Shunsui leant over and hit the call button, waiting for Unohana to enter. As expected, the nurse arrived within seconds with Hanatarō behind her. She smiled as she saw her patient was awake, and she moved forward slowly, knowing he was distressed.

"He doesn't like the tube," Shunsui mumbled, rubbing soothing circles along the pale skin of Jūshirō's cheek.

"Ukitake-san," Unohana addressed the man with a gentle tone, "I know the tube is scary, but your lungs are too weak to breathe without it. Is it scaring you because it feels uncomfortable?"

Jūshirō nodded, a few tears slipping from his eyes. He winced and reached up, holding his burnt cheek as it stung.

"You'll get used to it," Unohana reassured, "and once you can breathe again by yourself, I'll take it off you as soon as I can. And you'll be able to talk again once it's gone. Kyōraku-san has been talking to you since you've been unconscious, so I'm sure he can't wait for you to talk back to him."

Jūshirō nodded again, pulling Komamura closer to him. He buried his face against the dog's shoulder blade, wanting so desperately to know what had happened to Tōshirō and how he had gotten here.

"Would you like for me to give you a pen and some paper so you can write what you want to say instead, Ukitake-san?" Unohana offered.

Jūshirō looked up warily before he nodded. He pulled away when the male nurse approached him and started checking on his vitals; he wanted the seemingly-nice lady nurse back. She had a smile that made him feel safe, but this nurse made him feel uneasy.

Komamura whined again, pressing against his owner. His tail was still, knowing that Jūshirō was very worked up.

Shunsui moved to sit on the bed with Jūshirō. He wasn't surprised in the least when Ukitake immediately pulled himself over weakly and rested his head on the other's lap. The brunet ran a hand through the dirty locks of hair, humming softly.

Shunsui knew what had happened to both Tōshirō and Jūshirō. The police had informed him after the rape kit had been run, and they had consulted a newly-conscious Tōshirō. He was just glad that Jūshirō still trusted him, but how much of his recovery had been ruined...? How many steps back had Jūshirō taken? Would he still be able to trust Shunsui like he did before? Could he continue moving forwards and make progress...?

When Unohana returned with a pen and some paper, Jūshirō took them immediately. He winced as he tried to hold the pen, the burn on his hand making it difficult, but he was desperate to find out if Tōshirō was okay or not.

_Is Tōshirō okay? _Shunsui read the Ukitake's neat handwriting. _What happened to them?_

"Tōshirō is okay," Shunsui reassured his partner. "He's got a few burns and was poisoned from the monoxide, but he's going to be fine. And the police caught... _them, _and have taken them back to jail."

Jūshirō nodded. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he started writing again. _Am I in trouble for what happened?_

Shunsui shook his head. "No. I know it wasn't your fault. It's _mine. _I shouldn't have left the apartment. I thought you would be okay for just a while, but..."

Jūshirō reached up and tugged at Shunsui's sleeve. His eyes were wide, full of pleading. He wrote one more note. _I forgive you. _

At these words, Shunsui couldn't help himself; he burst into tears once again, crying out the pain he was suffering. Jūshirō cried with him, both of them needing their releases after having tried to be strong for too long.

Unohana silently shepherded Hanatarō out of the hospital room and closed the door behind them, giving the two males their privacy.

**-XX-**

To Shunsui's relief, Jūshirō's progress hadn't been as stunted as he had expected. The Ukitake still loved and trusted him, and the only thing between them that had changed was that Jūshirō was much more affectionate and clingy, and he found it difficult to be alone without Shunsui, even if there was another person in the room with him.

Jūshirō had taken a few steps backwards in his progress towards other people, having reverted back to a similar state as to when Shunsui had first taken him in; he found it difficult to trust others and be alone with them, expecting them to bring harm to him but, with Shunsui's patience and understanding, he was back on the road to recovery, having been visited by Izuru and meeting Renji.

Currently, Jūshirō and Shunsui were sitting in the hospital bed just a week later by themselves, talking. Jūshirō clung to Komamura as the dog slept soundlessly, almost asleep himself as Shunsui played with his hair.

"Shunsui...?" Jūshirō muttered, clearly on the edge of oblivion.

"Hmm?"

"...Am I... _weak _for... 'taking steps back'...?" The fear was clear in Jūshirō's voice, hidden amongst the tired undertones.

"Of course not, Juu. Everyone takes steps backwards at times. When I was recovering with Nanao, we had made love for the first time. ...But, after all the hard work I took to get to that step, I ran into my father... I took a few steps back; I couldn't make love with Nanao again for a few weeks and I was afraid of her touching me. But we worked through it again. What I'm trying to say is; even if you take steps backwards, I see it as taking leaps and bounds forwards. It's perfectly okay to stumble, Juu; that's why I'm here to help you get back on your feet."

Jūshirō nodded. He cracked one eye open and smiled at Shunsui. He then said the words that Shunsui had been dying to hear from the white-haired man. "I love you... Shunsui..."

A single tear dripped down Shunsui's cheeks. He leant forward and kissed the now-sleeping Jūshirō before he reached out and caressed the man's cheek, feeling as if the stress he had been enduring since the... _incident _had been alleviated.

"I love you, too, Juu..." Shunsui whispered. "Always..."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I was considering on making this chapter longer, but I feel as if it would be the perfect ending. I really wanted to get more of Gin and Tōshirō into this, so read down to the end and if you're not satisfied, I'll do one more chapter with Gin and Tōshirō in it. It just seems like a perfect ending to me, and I knew if I ended it last chapter, you guys would be hunting me down and demanding to know what happened to them in terms of housing :P**

"What are you going to do now?" Byakuya asked as he sat by Jūshirō's hospital bed, watching as Shunsui helped the Ukitake into his own clothing. "You do not have a home to return to anymore."

Shunsui shrugged, kissing Jūshirō's temple in an effort to soothe his own worries. "We'll work something out; I'm sure..."

"You are more than welcome to live with me," Byakuya offered, not wanting his friend to live on the streets. "I have adequate amounts of room for you both."

"Thank you for the offer, Byakuya-kun, but we couldn't impose on you like that," Shunsui said softly.

"I insist, Kyōraku. I will not take no for an answer."

Shunsui frowned. He shook his head. "I-I can't..."

"You would rather be homeless?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow, confused by his friend's resistance. Shunsui knew it wouldn't be a problem; Byakuya had inherited his parents' millions and their home once they had passed away, and he could probably house their entire friendship group if needed.

"No, I just..." Shunsui sighed. "...Feel as if we would be taking advantage of your kindness..."

"I do not mind," Byakuya tried to explain. "I have said there is adequate room and both Renji and Rukia would enjoy more company."

Shunsui reached out, patting the younger man's arm. "I'll talk to Rangiku and see what she thinks, okay?"

Byakuya nodded. "I will come, too."

Shunsui leant down and clipped the leash onto Komamura's collar before he handed it to Jūshirō. He took the pale man's hand and led him towards the doorway with Byakuya following after them.

It was no surprise that Rangiku was sitting in the hospital room designated to her family with Izuru beside her. The three men pulled up chairs next to them, greeting the two.

"How are they?" Shunsui asked, keeping his voice down, knowing that both Gin and Tōshirō were sleeping.

"They're much better." Rangiku smiled. "Nurse Unohana thinks they can leave today, but she would like for them to come back for check-ups with her. They're resting now because we were up a lot last night; Tōshirō was having nightmares again."

Jūshirō looked down at his lap, tightening his hold on the leash in his hand. He couldn't blame the boy; he himself had been having nightmares. He stood up and moved to the bed on their left side, reaching out and running his bandaged hand through the spiky white hair.

"He's doing well," Rangiku called to the Ukitake, knowing that he was concerned. "He's working hard not to dwell on it."

Shunsui smiled at his friend, glad to know that she was making an effort with Jūshirō, even if she didn't particularly like him.

Jūshirō nodded, sending a small, uncertain smile towards Rangiku.

"Jūshirō is being released today, as well," Shunsui said.

"Where are you going to go?" Rangiku bit her lip as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Byakuya has offered his home, but I don't feel right about it," Shunsui explained as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

"If that's the case, then why not alternate between Byakuya's home and ours?" Rangiku sent a small smile at Jūshirō, not particularly fond of the idea of having the Ukitake in her home, but knowing that Gin and Tōshirō would have offered anyway. "The boys would love to have you over. Right, Izuru?"

Izuru smiled and nodded.

"That is a good idea," Byakuya agreed. "It will not burden either of us."

Shunsui knew that neither of his friends would allow he and Jūshirō to be without a home after such a traumatic thing, so he could only accept their offer, agreeing that it felt like less of a burden than staying their permanently.

"Come back to my home until the week is over so that Ichimaru and Hitsugaya can recover in a familiar setting," Byakuya said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I will call Renji and have him prepare a room for you both. Would you rather separate rooms or share?"

"Sharing is fine, Byakuya-kun." Shunsui smiled as he stood up. He moved to Gin and leant down, brushing hair out of Gin's face. The man stirred at the touch but didn't awake.

Shunsui then went to Tōshirō and kissed the boy's forehead. He wrapped his arm around Jūshirō's shoulder and led him to Byakuya.

As they moved, Jūshirō tugged at Shunsui's sleeve and whispered, "Am I welcome there...?"

Shunsui smiled and kissed his boyfriend. "Believe me, Juu; if Byakuya didn't want you there, you'd know."

Jūshirō nodded, trying to be strong. He understood that he wasn't the only one who was suffering.

"Have you both got everything?" Byakuya asked as he led them down the corridor of the hospital.

Jūshirō glanced down at his dog before he nodded. Shunsui gave a cheerful yes, and the next chapter of Jūshirō's new life started.

-XX-

Byakuya was patient with Jūshirō once they entered his home. He understood that this was hard for him as the Ukitake had rarely left Shunsui's apartment and felt uneasy about the surroundings, but he was sure that Jūshirō would settle in soon enough.

Renji and Rukia were good to Jūshirō, having been sat down with Byakuya so that Shunsui could explain everything known about the man's past.

They were all currently seated at the dinner table, eating what Byakuya had prepared.

"Are you enjoying it here so far?" Shunsui asked Jūshirō, knowing that the man was still distressed and not eating properly. It was his duty to make sure that Ukitake was safe and happy and support him as much as possible.

Jūshirō nodded, sending a small smile to Shunsui. He fiddled with the spoon in his hand, having barely touched the ramen Byakuya had cooked specifically for the white-haired man. The Kuchiki knew that Jūshirō's stomach probably wasn't up to heavy foods during this time, so he had made a light meal to help him out.

"It might be beneficial to turn in early for the night," Byakuya said. "You both will have extra stress tomorrow if you do not get enough sleep."

"That's a good idea," Shunsui agreed. "Would you like to go to bed early, Juu?"

Jūshirō nodded again, looking down at his meal. He turned to Renji when the red-head spoke.

"A shower will help, too," Renji said. "There isn't one in the bedroom Byakuya asked for me to give you, but we have another one near the bedrooms. You can use it."

Jūshirō bit his lip. He looked back to Shunsui, uncertainty in his gaze. He accepted the warm hand that grabbed his, knowing that Shunsui would always look out for him.

"I think we may just go and have a shower together and then hit the mattress," Shunsui said. "Thank you very much for the meal, Byakuya-kun; it was nice. Goodnight, Abarai-kun, Rukia-chan."

Byakuya nodded in their direction as he focused on his dinner. Renji and Rukia returned their good-byes and started talking amongst one another.

Jūshirō was silent as he followed Shunsui up the stairs of Byakuya's home and over to a doorway near the bedroom they had been given.

"You're awfully quiet," Shunsui pointed out. He held Jūshirō's hand in his own as he lead the younger into the bathroom.

"I..." Jūshirō rubbed at his eye, not sure what to say.

"I guess you don't really know Byakuya very well," Shunsui agreed. "And you've only met Rukia and Renji once before. It must be upsetting for you to be in an unfamiliar home with unfamiliar people."

Jūshirō nodded. He pulled his hand from Shunsui's grip and hugged himself tightly. "...I... I-I'm scared of them..."

"You don't need to be afraid of them, Juu." Shunsui wrapped his arms around Jūshirō's chest, holding the younger close to his chest. "Byakuya's moody, but he's like that with everyone. He cares; he just has a weird way of showing it. And Rukia's very outgoing and cheerful. She finds it hard to open up to people, but she's a good friend to have on your side. And Renji is... well, he's hot-tempered, but he's a good friend, as well."

"...I don't feel like they accept me..." Jūshirō whispered, trying be strong and holding the tears back.

"They do," Shunsui reassured. He walked the smaller man over to the shower and turned the taps on. "As I said, Byakuya has a weird way of showing that he cares, and if he didn't accept you, you certainly wouldn't be standing in his home right now. They all know what you've been through because I've told them, and they understand that you've had a very difficult life, but they're looking past that and doing their best to treat you like they would anyone else."

Jūshirō nodded. He stepped in under the water once it was warm enough, content with being in Shunsui's arms. He closed his eyes, happy that the brunet was washing his hair for him, feeling safer than he had in a while.

Once the shampoo and conditioner had been rinsed out of the long hair, Shunsui did his own. He then pulled Jūshirō against him, tilting his head back so that they could kiss. When they broke apart, Jūshirō whispered to the older male.

"...Can..." a small tint of red appeared on Jūshirō's cheeks as he looked away. "...Can you touch me, please...?"

Shunsui nodded, kissing his boyfriend again. He reached between their legs and took hold of the flaccid member between them. He knew that this act of intimacy meant the world to Jūshirō, as it did to him. He knew that despite Jūshirō's stress and his fright, he was allowing the brunet to do such things to his body because of the bond between them.

Jūshirō moaned and closed his eyes, sighing softly as he rested his face against Shunsui's chest. Despite everything that had happened, just sharing this moment with Shunsui made him feel as if the future wasn't as dark and bleak as it had once seemed. He felt as if everything could get better, as if it _would _get better – as if he was finally going to be _happy, _and have someone who _loved _and _cared _for him. Who _accepted _him.

With those thoughts in mind, Jūshirō released with a small cry of Shunsui's name. In that moment, nothing mattered to Jūshirō accept for the fact that right now, he had everything he had ever wanted; someone to call his own.


	15. Chapter 15

**I couldn't resist xD Here's an epilogue with Gin and Tōshirō in it :) Personally, I think it's a rather sweet chapter. **

The week had gone by slowly for Jūshirō, but he was feeling a little better now that he and Shunsui were staying with Gin and his family for the next week. He had just gotten out of the shower and dressed himself before he walked to the bedroom now belonging to Shunsui and himself.

"Shunsui?" Jūshirō pushed the door open and stepped in. He frowned when he saw Shunsui sitting on the bed, crying into his hands. "Shunsui, what happened?"

Shunsui lowered his hands from his face and smiled weakly up at Jūshirō. He opened his arms, inviting the younger male to sit down on his lap. He held the white-haired man, resting his chin on the other's shoulder.

"I'm okay, Juu," Shunsui reassured. "I just need to let go and have a bit of a cry."

Jūshirō wrapped his arms back around the brunet. "Why? You never cry, Shunsui."

"I do. Everyone cries sometimes, Juu, but it's okay because it only makes us human. I just miss Nanao and I'm still really upset about losing her belongings in the fire. That's all. There's no need to worry, Juu. I'll be okay."

Jūshirō nodded. He curled in close to the other, resting his head beneath Shunsui's chin. His long, slender fingers gripped the blue shirt Shunsui was wearing as he focused on the brunet's breathing. He closed his eyes and slipped off to sleep, content with being in his partner's arms.

**-XX-**

When Shunsui and Jūshirō left their bedroom a few hours later after having had a sleep, they stepped into the living room and found Tōshirō sitting on the floor, playing happily with Komamura. Gin was sitting on a chair, tapping away at his laptop.

The Ichimaru's left arm had been burned badly in the fire, and the entire limb was scarred right down to the fingers in a third-degree burn. There were also burns on his legs and torso, though they were not as bad, and a few small burns on his face and neck.

Tōshirō had been lucky; his burns were on his torso, and had only been second-degree; much less serious than they should have been given the circumstances.

"Jūshirō!" Tōshirō got to his feet and ran to Jūshirō when he saw the skinny man enter the room. He wrapped his arms around Jūshirō's middle and buried his face into the other's stomach. "Jūshirō, I missed you!"

Jūshirō smiled softly and ran his fingers through the spiky hair. "Where were you? Y-you weren't here... when we arrived this morning..."

"I was at school." Tōshirō looked up and smiled brightly, his bright green eyes shining.

Shunsui moved over and pulled Tōshirō into a hug. "You're going back to school? Gin said you were staying home from school, but it's great to hear that you're going back."

"He's strong," Gin said, turning to face them. "A psychol'gist came in ta talk ta him while we were in hospital an' helped relieve some o' the guilt he felt, an' we let him stay home from school with the option o' him decidin' when he's ready ta go back. He chose ta go back himself last night, an' we haven't even been out o' the hospital for a' week. I'm so proud o' him."

"I bet you are, Gin-kun." Shunsui smiled. "Are you going back to work, too?"

Gin shook his head. "Can't. Not with this arm. I need a' new job."

"I see." Shunsui moved to sit with Gin. "I went back to my job once Jūshirō got settled in at Byakuya's."

"How is he doin'?" Gin asked.

"He's good." Shunsui glanced over to see Jūshirō holding Tōshirō's hand as the child lead the Ukitake over to the adults.

"Jūshirō and I are going to visit Momo, Gin." Tōshirō smiled at his foster father, and in that moment, Shunsui would swear that nothing had happened to Tōshirō; he still had that air of childish innocence about him, and his smile was still enough to melt even the coldest of hearts. "I told Momo I would come over today and Jūshirō wants to come with me."

"I see." Gin reached out and ruffled his child's hair. "Have fun, 'kay? Take Komamura with ya so that Jūshirō-san will feel a' bit more at ease."

"We will." Tōshirō reached out, wrapping his arms carefully around Gin so that he didn't agitate any of the man's burns, and then engulfed Shunsui in a tight hug next. "Bye, Gin; bye, Shunsui."

"Bye, Shiro-chan." Gin smiled and watched as Jūshirō left with Tōshirō and Komamura. He then turned back to Shunsui. "See? Shiro-chan is doin' great. He doesn't have many scars from the trauma, thankf'lly."

"What about you, Gin-kun?" Shunsui asked. "You never told me how your scars are."

Gin shrugged. "Shiro-chan is safe. Jūshirō-san is safe. I know ya lost yer home and Nanao's belongin's, but we still have our lives. It's just 'nother bump in the road we have ta work tagether ta get 'round. I'll never forget what it was like thinkin' I'd never see Shiro-chan 'gain, but he's here with me, an' he's happy. It's all that matters ta me."

Shunsui smiled. "I'm so glad to hear that. What about Rangiku-chan?"

"She's fine, too." Gin smiled. "She's been workin' a lot, but she always comes home and makes sure we know how much she loves us. She doesn't ever wanna go through somethin' like that again."

"I know. I'm just glad that Jūshirō is doing better."

Gin nodded. "Me, too."

**-XX-**

Jūshirō was nervous as he entered another unfamiliar house, but he trusted Tōshirō not to lead him into any danger. Besides; this house was just next door from Gin's, so if anything happened it wouldn't take him long to run back to Shunsui.

The Ukitake watched as Tōshirō hugged a black-haired female who was taller than him, and he smiled warily at her when she made eye contact with him.

"This is Hinamori Momo, Jūshirō," Tōshirō introduced. "Momo, this is Jūshirō. He's my friend I was telling you about."

"Nice to meet you, Jūshirō-san." Momo bowed politely to Jūshirō, already accepting of him. "Is this your dog?"

Jūshirō nodded. He reached down and instinctively put his hand on Komamura's head.

"What his name?" Momo smiled, knowing that Jūshirō was recovering from abuse; Tōshirō had told her all about Jūshirō.

"..." Jūshirō bit his lip before he took a deep breath, wanting to be strong like Shunsui and Gin were. "...K... Komamura..."

"Cute." Momo leant down and patted the dog's head. "He's gorgeous. Jūshirō-san, Shiro-chan and I are going swimming in the pool in the backyard. Would you like to join us?"

Jūshirō fiddled with his hands, not knowing what to say. Yes, it was very hot, but... He didn't feel ready to show his body to anyone other than Shunsui. ...But Tōshirō... He trusted Tōshirō, and... This seemed like a nice girl...

"...Can..." Jūshirō trembled slightly, knowing that he was going out of his comfort zone but knowing it would be another step to him getting better. "...Can I leave my clothes on...?"

Momo smiled and nodded. "Of course you can."

Jūshirō smiled weakly and followed the two teens out to the backyard. He was wary at first and, because he couldn't swim, he spent his time in the shallow end, but he eventually found himself trusting Tōshirō and Momo to touch him so that he could learn how to swim.

It didn't occur to Jūshirō until he got out of the pool hours later, but he had _never _had as much fun as he did just before with someone other than Shunsui. He beamed as he thought about how much he had smiled; how much he had _laughed, _and he found himself unable to wait to tell Shunsui all about his little break.


End file.
